Build Your Online Dating Profile From Scratch
First we gotta keep it real, and I have to tell you why I am doing this. In March of 2023, I made the worst mistake of my life, when I paid a dating coach a whole lot of money to fix my dating life with an online dating program. What I soon realized it was all a quick fix, an almost addict like personality that was just all about lying, manipulating, and trying to pretend to be someone you’re not for no reason.
A good coach would never lie to his students, his peers, and definitely would never encourage men to lie to women. I’m about continuous self-improvement, and solving problems, after all I’m a therapist. Guys, I’ve been there and done that and know what it’s like to watch video after video, read book after book, and dating guru after dating guru, it sucks.
Self-Improvement is about doing the little things every day, and getting the small wins, so this way, those small wins adding up over time to the big wins, that includes dating. After all online dating is simply one part of you’re dating life, when you go out with your friends you can meet people, when you go out and do the things you love you can meet people to date.
To be clear this article and blog series is a combination of the information I gained when I made that terrible mistake, in combination with the experiences I had, and used and ultimately the skills I attained and the profile I put together, to match, meet, date and call my true ten my girl (love ya baby).
This is going to be a multipart blog where I will begin with one picture each, followed by prompts, and then messaging. That’s right guys I’m giving it all away for free. Why? Because luckily for me I mastered this part of my life, and as a therapist I decided to pay it forward so you can have one tool for you’re continuous self-improvement.
Picture number one the Rooftop Picture
This is your first picture
This is really a picture that says, “Hey I go out, I can dress nice, enjoy nice food, cocktails, and like the nice fun things to do in life.” It makes you a little bit interesting, and makes the girl go ohhhh those are nice clothes, he’s got a good confident look, and maybe I even recognize that place and definitely wouldn’t mind going on a date there.
Although you don’t need to go to a rooftop we’re calling it a rooftop picture because it says, “Hey I like nice things, like good, food, good drinks, a nice upscale and trendy place, like a rooftop bar or a catering hall.
For example, this picture was taken a friends wedding at South Gate Manor in Freehold.
It’s easy to take a picture, take about ten pictures, save it on your camera roll, save three of the best ones, and just move on.
Don’t feel any pressure than just being yourself in the picture, you don’t need the perfect smile, perfect edit, or perfect outfit, just be you, happy, healthy, normal and confident.
Step #1: Pick a place!
I wish people just kept this simple, simply google map a rooftop bar near you, or where you want to go out, or a nice catering hall. Off the top of my head, the Rooftop at The Rockaway Hotel is an awesome place, that many people know (easy for the girl to comment on), and also 230 fifth in Manhattan
Remember a nice catering hall will also do, this picture was taken at a friend’s wedding, not a rooftop.
Don’t feel the need to find the perfect location, make it fun, easy and simple for you, if you have some friends and can make a night out of it, even better, if not, still go yourself!
Be mindful of the background, something simple, not something with several colors and designs in the background, otherwise too distracting.
Step #2: Pick the Outfit
Yes this picture is edited, the first one isn’t, well get to that later! Also arguably edited a little to much.
Right now we are talking about outfit only, it’s simple : a suit jacket, white shirt, and black dress pants. Keep this simple and with neutral colors.
Leave your personality out of it for now, you don’t want to take this picture looking like Weird Al Yankovich, or Cam Newton.
Simple details count, lookout for stains and wrinkles. Guys take the time to get or make sure the clothes fit nice, are a simple color, and are even ironed (or if you’re like me, you can just steam it in the shower, I don’t know how to iron).
One last thing, hold a drink in your hand, a nice cocktail, a glass of champagne, also if you have a nice watch wear it and go for it.
The point here is clothes should be simple, plain or neutral colors, ironed (or shower steamed), dressed nicely, and the drink should be plain too, like a glass of champagne or a simple cocktail, no beer, (listen I’d much prefer to be drinking a fruity cocktail, but it’s likely going to bring down the picture.
Step #3: Use Photofeeler.com
O.k. this sucks, but you have to spend money on credits. On Photofeeler you buy credits and get instant feedback on the photos if you buy the credits
Just be sure to select your correct gender, that the photos are for dating and you are a man seeking a female (or if not that's fine too, 20 bucks is 20 bucks after all).
If you can, submit one to three pictures from each of the venues, and just see which is your highest score.
The goal is just to get it to be a five or above.
Why a five or above? Because that means the girl at least has interest, remember you haven’t posted the picture on your profile yet, you just want to see what the general public sees (well girls), think about how attractive you are from that picture on Photofeeler
I repeat if you can use two or three pics, from two or three different places you went to even better.
It just sucks you do have to buy the credits on the site to get the votes, but you do get immediate feedback.
Step #4: Use Fiverr to edit the photo
I highly recommend using Fiverr to edit your favorite picture, which I’d imagine is the picture with the highest rating from photofeeler.
A good editor on Fiverr can easily bring your photofeeler score to up an additional point.
I used Eliza P https://www.fiverr.com/elizaisseliza? I found her work excellent and very reasonable (no she does not get a cut or have a piece of this blog), I’m just keeping it real. I’ll include a picture of her edits below. She edited two pictures for me. I believe the two pictures at the time cost me 100 bucks, highly recommended.
Below is an example of pre, and post edit with Fiverr, original score 6.6 and also a 7.2! (That's right no edit’s 7.2, guys the right picture counts)! and the new edit was a 7.7, that’s right a full point!
**IMPORTANT The pictures below are a different picture!! It is your steak picture lol. Staytuned for that article later!
This first picture tested as both a 6.6. and a 7.2 before any edits.
Here this picture, unedited tested as high as 7.2 and at one point a 6.6
This post Fiver Edit is a 7.7, not bad, and I don’t think it’s anything crazy at all!
Step #5: Sometimes you don’t need edits!
That’s right baby a 9.0, not bad for a bald therapist!
That’s right, while edit’s certainly do help, and sure I got lucky, look at that score! Guys I am no Ben Affleck, or Jason Statham. If I can pull off a 9.0 on Photofeeler, with no edits, you can!
Below is another rooftop picture, unedited completely with a score of 7.6, it’s simply a sports coat, dress pants, white shirt, nicely ironed, good posture, a champagne glass, rooftop, and plain background. Nothing you guys can't do!
Guys, this is unedited,a 7.6, not bad for a fat therapist.
Notice 7.6, notice how the simple background, clothes, champagne, and plain background goes a long way!
Step #6: Go back to Photofeeler
Go back to Photo-feeler post edits, and see what the score is.
Again as I said in step five Photofeeler, will raise your score a good point usually, which is really good, but again notice the no edits at all.
The no edits just shows the importance of getting the fundamentals right, location, attire, background, confidence, and looking your best.
Step #7: Upload it as your first picture
Upload it as your first picture. Remember guys do not expect all of the leads and hot girls you want to match with to start coming in, it’s about a slow consistency.
Send one message a day on the app, yes that’s right one.
Why? It makes you different than all of the other guys who are just on their all day either having a lengthy conversation or sending two or three messages a day.
It makes you a little more mysterious, and the girl wonder, what’s up with that guy, is he even interested, all of these other guys are
It changes the way you look at things, suddenly you are no longer just swiping away going I want more and hotter matches, you are simply responding to each girl, and giving yourself a choice. You’re living in abundance, I’ll send this one message to a few of these matches, and check back tomorrow.
