Don’t Avoid it, Go After it.

The title of today’s therapy blog is, “Don’t avoid, go after it.”

Avoidance, it all comes from the things we tell ourselves we have to do better, the problems we want to fix, the goals we want to achieve, or things we want to conquer ourselves, but we don’t follow through.

Avoidance, it’s painful. Some of the things we avoid are schoolwork, difficult conversations with our loved ones, really getting into and improving our health, or personal finance, and also avoiding what really makes us happy, and what really doesn’t.  

Avoidance is real, it’s painful, and we either move toward it, and take massive action, or a little action, it just depends on where you are at.
For instance, in my field I deal with a lot of people who have anxiety, sometimes avoiding and moving forward and toward is going slow, recognizing it, calling it out, and figuring out the little things you can do today, to move toward it. 

Married? Don’t Avoid that conversation with your partner

Sometimes we avoid that difficult conversation with our loved one about money. Why? Well one reason is because our marriage is less than, and we are not at our best in that marriage, we’re not sweet loving and kind to our husband or wife. Guys and girls, if you feel your marriage is less than, or you’re not truly happy, how can you work through the problems, challenges, and even just have fun as a couple…It’s going to be hard. 

Look, some people call me an idealist, but screw that. It is truly hard to be at your absolute best 100% of all the time all day, the perfect husband, the perfect wife, or the perfect couple, but what I totally believe in is at least being mindful thinking about it and even doing the little things that add up and come close. 

As a couple, how can you discuss money, children, and even just have fun and enjoy life? If you guys are not truly happy in your marriage, screw that, as a marriage counselor, these are the things I want for you guys. Marriage Counseling is actually the first therapeutic service I really enjoyed, so click here if you want to learn more about that service. 

How do you know you’re avoiding?

Back to avoiding? How do we know we are avoiding it? What are the things you say to yourself over and over? Almost like your invisible scripts. I’ll go first for me personally is I totally want to be 175 pounds, what am I avoiding? Simple, getting on that scale to see just where I am at, biting that bullet. 

Single and Dating: What are you avoiding?

What if you are single and dating, what are some of the things you tell yourself? Do you tell yourself you're a loser cause you don’t go out and go after the girls you see and just want to talk to. To be honest, if you’re reading this blog, and even thinking about it, you’re actually not a loser, nope. You’re the opposite, you’re someone who wants to do better and is contemplating some action, if you ask me that’s awesome.

If you’re single and dating, it’s a population I love working with, as it really goes into not just attracting and dating the kinds of girls you never thought possible, it’s also a great place to be in life where you can work on your own true happiness, fulfillment and continuous self-improvement. Click here if you want to learn more about that service. 

Avoiding is simple, it’s the thing we constantly tell ourselves we want to do better, but lucky for you guys, this page (well this word document, as that’s what I type on before it goes on the site), is about how to go through it. 

Take Massive Action: The most you can take, physically, financially…Something!

Massive Action: Sometimes, we have things like money or just share will power where we can go through and take massive action to go through something we are avoiding. Maybe you have some money saved up or extra cash to put toward a credit card bill. 

Massive action might mean just doing the most you can afford to put that bill. 

Massive action to someone who wants to get in better shape, might mean, hey, every night right after work, the first thing I am doing is hopping on the stairs for a second workout. 

Massive action: if you feel like you and your partner have to talk about money might be, hey let’s pick a day and time to talk about our money as a couple, we really gotta see where we are at, and what we want to do. 

Massive action if you’re having trouble approaching girls might just be I’m going out, going to stand by the bar, or in one spot, and any girl that is arm’s distance of me (gentleman that might be a clue, if she is, she’s placing herself in your orbit), I’m gonna say, “Hey You’re cute, what’s your name.”

Decide When: Be specific, a date is a day, time and place (I love Corey’s work and make no mistake how much his work helped me, it’s one of the things he taught me). Thursday at 10pm, when the kids are definitely in bed, I’m just going to talk to my husband, and bring it up, “Hey money is getting tight, and I’d feel a lot better, if we just had a conversation about it, we don’t have to do it now, but can we pick a day and time to just talk about it.”

Massive Action Might mean, getting to work at 7:30am just to say, hey I’m going to take 10 minutes extra in the morning, before anyone is in the building just to track yesterday’s spending and see if there is any more money, I can throw at this credit card bill. 

Avoidance is real: It sucks, it comes from the things we tell ourselves, and we either are moving toward it, and taking massive action, or we are mindful about the little things we have to do every day, to move forward (such as writing this blog, which I do daily from 7 to 8am. 

So guys, and girls, I’d love to hear from you, what is something you’re avoiding, how do you know you’re avoiding it, and what’s your plan to move toward it?

If you’d like to work with me one on one check out my rates page and/or email me at my contact me page. Simply just email me with some days and times you are available, the consultation and intake is free. 

If you’re interested in my services which are being single and dating, men and women looking to improve their marriage, and also couples counseling click on my home page, and you can read about each one. 

If you’d like, submit a question for the blog here. 

Thanks everyone, 

Joe, The Therapist