What if I’m not in happy in my marriage?

If you’re in a relationship, or are married, and find yourself thinking and feeling about if you are truly happy, this is a blog post for you. In my first blog post, I pull the curtain back a little on when I said out loud, I know I’m not happy in my relationship. Then we’ll discuss what you can do if you know you aren’t either.

What is the quiet part out loud?

This is a phrase I use a lot in therapy, whether you are here for marriage counseling, family therapy, or even individual. Hell, to be honest, it is a phrase I love to use in life. Often we find that we gloss over it, and to be honest, it's that moment when we need to think and go oh crap, that's it!!

First a personal example: I was engaged.

An important quiet part out loud moment came when I was engaged, and I said to my friend, “I think I’m Unhappy.” Did I go and immediately end my eight year relationship, no. Did I stop and go oh crap, I need to figure this out absolutely I did.

What if you know you’re not happy? Or think you might not be?

Perhaps you are married, and you constantly feel your partner (let’s keep it real, usually the husband), just does not give you his time and attention. Your quiet part out loud might be, “I just want to feel like I’m the only person in the room.”

What it really means:

What it really means is you just want your husband, or partner to show up and give you the attention, that no matter what is on t.v, or who is in the restaurant, or whatever is around you, you are the absolute most important thing. You want to FEEL their presence, even with a simple look in the eye and smile.

Moving it Forward:

Ladies: Next time with your husband, give them that look and see if they can feel it, or better yet, tell them this is what you want from them on your next date, or the next time you are just sitting on the couch watching Netflix or Real Housewives of God Knows What.

Men, do you want to be a better husband?

It means you truly want to show up better for your wives and girlfriends, so go do it. Give them that look, like you are the only person in the world who matters right now in that given moment. Besides men, the NFL draft is in two months, well come on…we’ll soon be a little distracted. 

Submit your questions:

Submit any questions, topics, or anything on your mind to Joseph.Gherman24@gmail.com