Men, In a Relationship?Chill the F out.

This is something I’ve been working on with my clients, and along the way I had to master it myself, and finally did, especially when dating my girl. The reason I’m writing this article is that some of the men I work with get very frustrated when they want something or someone in their relationship and can’t have it at that moment. 

First to keep it real

Guys, I am totally guilty of this. I've been there before, typing and deleting texts, overthinking texts, phone calls, dates in my head, and even fearing the worst. Guys I’m lucky I went through that, and now I get to help and pay that experience forward, both as a therapist and personally, in this blog and my service. 

So how do we chill the F out?

Step one: Take it day by day 

That includes your relationship! Look, the reality is something one of my mentors I learned from Corey is that a woman's feelings are like the weather, it’s going to change everyday so guys truly take it day by day. 

Some days your woman is going to super into you, somedays she is just not going to be. The trick is to do more things right than wrong and be your best  attractive self. This way within hours, or even just a day she is right back being her fun, loving playful self to you, not a day or two or even three of her being distant, and continuing to back off. 

Step Two: Have a Plan: 

If you’re in a relationship and you don’t have a date set up, or the next time you are going to see each other, wait a day, give her space, give her time, and give her a chance to reach out. After a day, chill the F out, call her, and say, “Hey baby, I wanna see you, when are you free?”

Step Three: Be O.k, if that plan doesn’t go your way. 

Guys, if you wanna see your girl, and she just isn’t eager to see you, it’s ok. Yes it sucks, yes it’s disappointing and at times even can feel hurtful, but you gotta chill the f out and let her have the time and space to come to you. 

Be OK when she isn’t eager to see you. 

Be o.k, with the fact that she just does not feel like calling you, texting you, or making plans with you at that moment, or today. Look I am totally not saying be ok with this for days, weeks, and even months, no. At the end of the day you want someone that is eager to see you. 

But give her that time and space in peace, because when you do, she will come back, she will call, she will text. But no matter what you have to Chill the F out. No matter what, because chilling the F out means she won’t FEEEEEEL your frustration when she doesn’t make those plans. 

She FEELS, you’re indifference, your coolness, your calmness, your masculinity, and then sooner than later is ready to see you. I’m writing this article so guys in relationships can feel secure in them, and enjoy them, not worry and feel frustrated and then argue or be mad at their girl when she doesn’t want to see them. 

Which response is more attractive?

Guys if you invited you’re girl over and she said she  can’t see you, you can either say, “Alrighty babe another time (the action you put toward her), or you can argue with her and say, “Come on you know I haven’t seen you in a couple of days and you never wanna make plans.”

Which one is more attractive, Why? Is that alrighty babe another time, more attractive? How do you get to that most attractive, calm response when you’re girl in that moment isn’t meeting what you want, you have to chill the F out. 

How Chilling the F out would help in all avenues of your relationship

Think about also how cool it would be to Chill the F out all the time in front of your girl. 

Looking back, I wish I chilled the F out more to myself when dating my girl, and even in the initial parts of the relationship. I wouldn’t be looking at google maps for an hour planning a date, I’d pick a date, a place to eat, a place to drink and call it a day. 

Think about how chilling the F out would help you navigate an argument, a disagreement, or when she is upset. If you chilled the F out you wouldn’t take it personally, you’d say, “Hey my bad, tell me more. Tell me everything I did that made you feel that way.” 

Why because you are saying hey I messed up, or I know you feel this way cause of something I did, or didn’t do and are perfectly chill with hearing it, I wanna hear it, I’m also going to chill out as I hear it, and not be defensive. 

If you’re thinking about reading more, or contacting me Chill the F out and just do it. 

So guys, today’s self help and therapy lesson is….Chill the F out!

If you need help chilling the F out and want to ask me a question, send me an email here, just give me a day to get back to you, I’m more than happy to answer it for free. Click here to send me an email

If you want to come into my room and are interested in my therapy and coaching services click here.