Boundaries in the world of dating, relationships, and even friends and family.

Boundaries are truly important, as with them we can get very intentional with how we want to live, goals we want to achieve, and even the relationships we want to have with others and ourselves. 

However, without boundaries, our plate can become messy, overcrowded with emotions, thoughts, and even physical things in our life we don’t want, people we do not want to see too often, and even places we don’t want to go. 

Boundaries don’t have to be a bad thing, they can be a good thing, they can make life simple, keep emotions calm, and also keep communication clear. 

So to keep it real, the human experience I am dealing with is my mother, yes my mother. Do I love my mother of course, but lately, the way she has been showing up has been nothing but panic, worry, and fear. 

I have to put a boundary when it comes to communication with her, because her emotions are now becoming actions and statements towards me. With those actions, and statements, and feelings she worries about, it puts me at risk, to be less of a man for others. 

You see one of the things I am enjoying about this blog is the human experience we all have, which includes me keeping it real, going first, and putting myself out there, so you can read this, for free, and maybe just be a little better off today, if there is anything here that hits home. 

So yeah, my mother has been bugging, and since she is my mother, and I do have love her I try to keep open the lines of communication, meet her where she is at, so my number boundary has been places (physical space), and also my own feelings. 

For the last week, she really upset me, but today, no more. I’m not going to feel upset with her, I might be indifferent, disappointed, but not upset, or even angry. Why I don’t want my words or actions to make things worse. That doesn’t make me better.

So I will talk to her, be indifferent, be cool, be calm, all while managing my feelings, why? Because I’m setting a boundary, I know I’m upset and I’m not going to get angry with her, so guys and girls let’s hear what boundaries  you need to set and why?

Maybe you need to set a boundary when it comes to personal finance? I’m going to go out this weekend, this is my fun money and that is it, and after that, that’s it. I’m going to use that boundary to enjoy the experience (people, and places), not things like alcohol. 

Maybe you need to set a boundary with your emotions with a girl you are dating and you really like. It might look and sound like, I like that girl. I want to see her again, I know I’m going to call her next week to ask her out, but no matter what, I’m not going to feel anxious about reaching out. I’m going to feel certain I have a plan, and also indifferent if she wants to hangout or not. 

Maybe you feel insecure, or less than in your relationship or marriage, or even angry. That boundary might be, Hey no matter what, I’m not going to be angry with my wife, no matter what. Sweet, if you weren’t how would you feel, what would you say to your wife, especially when she pisses you off. 

Maybe you’ve been burnt by a lover or a girl, you feel hurt, hopeless, and even angry. Set that boundary, no matter what, I’m not going to feel hurt. If you didn’t feel hurt, you’d feel indifferent, or even thankful, that someone showed their true colors. If you were thankful someone showed their true colors, you might think, thank god, that guy was an asshole. 

Sometimes you have to put boundaries up with friends and family, because simply hanging out with them isn’t adding up, it’s not in alignment with how you really want to spend your time, the activities you want to do, the places you want to go. 

So move it forward, Who is one person who needs a boundary? Why do they need that boundary? What would you do, say, or feel if you put that boundary up. 

What’s one place you need to put a boundary up with? Why? How would you feel about putting that boundary up? If that’s not the emotion you want to feel about putting that boundary up, which is the emotion you would want to feel? Sweet, what would you do or say if you felt that desired emotion about that boundary?

What about the thing? Is there a thing you want to put a boundary up with? Like anger, drinking, gambling, or swiping dating apps. Awesome, why do you want that boundary up? What emotion do you want to feel with that boundary? What would you do or say if you felt that emotion with that boundary?

Example: Want to drink less (boundary), you’d be like no big deal, why? It’s just alcohol. 

So guys, what boundaries do you want to put up. 

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