Dating, Married, Relationship: Good Behavior, Bad Behavior
Good Behavior and Bad Behavior: What’s Yours?
I think as a therapist, it’s inevitable I wrote this blog, but to keep it real, we all have good behavior and bad behavior several times a day My bad behavior totally is going to dunkin and getting a cookie dough swirl flavored coffee, after my workout.
Come on, after being in the gym for 90 minutes, is it going to kill me? No, but is it moving me away from my goals from fitting into that Sun N Stone Small? Hell yes, it is, therefore that is bad behavior.
Good Behavior and Bad Behavior keeps you in the game, moving towards what you want out of life and everything you are trying to achieve as a man. Whether it’s enjoying your relationship with your girl, having a better marriage, or dating an awesome girl.
If you’re single and dating, good behavior is totally being able to walk up to that cute girl and say, “You’re cute, what’s your name?”
Bad behavior is not doing it, bad behavior is avoiding it. Crap I know my life had a lot of this bad behavior in it.
Guys are you in a relationship: What’s your good behavior? Is it telling your girl no problem to have fun when she goes out with her friends? Is it being o.k and indifferent when your girl can’t see you when you want her to?
Guys in a relationship: What’s your bad behavior? Is it telling your girl I really wanted to see you, and arguing about different things, and maybe even arguing about them several times a month or a year.
Guys who are married? What’s your good behavior? Is it walking in that door saying, “Hey babe, How was your day?” Is it helping out with whatever your wife is doing when you get home?
Is your good behavior saying in the most heartfelt, genuine way to you, “Baby, you're cute.”
Guys who are married: What’s your bad behavior? Is it arguing? Is it name calling? Is it even walking away? Is it getting angry?
Guys as a therapist, it’s my job to get to the good behavior and develop the skills, even mindsets and limit the emotional thermometer that drives the bad behavior, and makes it so easy to do.
Imagine if you’re good behavior was normalized, everyday you came home, greeted your wife with a smile and said, “Hey Baby how was your day.” Imagine how your wife would feel if you came home every day like that after work for 30 days straight. She’d feel awesome, loved, and happy, and guess what so would you?
Imagine how you’d feel if you went up to that girl and just said, “You’re cute, what’s your name?” You’d feel pretty good, after. Why? Because you did it, you didn’t avoid it. Besides, how do you feel going home when you didn’t do it. If we were similar, probably hungover, and frustrated.
Guys, How’d you feel if you were ok with your girl being a little bit not into you today, being ok with it, and calling her tomorrow and being like, “Hey Baby, How are ya, I miss ya, I wanna see you when are you free.?”
If you’re single and dating, one good behavior I totally had was not being on dating apps all day. As a matter of fact when I met my girl, my good behavior for myself was only once a day, that’s it. One message and one swipe that was it.
All of a sudden that good behavior I did day after day, made me change the way I looked at dating-apps. I no longer felt frustrated, wanting more and more and hotter and hotter. Besides if she’s reading this, she knows she is the hottest.
Good Behavior means good outcomes, it also means good actions, and we can measure those actions and measure the good results and then eventually how we want to refine those actions. However if we aren’t doing the good behavior are we even in the game?
Guys one more quick example, everyday I go to the gym, six to seven days a week. Am I in the shape I was once in, nope! But why do my clothes still fit me, because of the good behavior. Because of that good behavior I’m able to think exactly how I want to refine my approach.
If you’re swiping and only messaging on dating apps once a day, that good behavior gives you some good results to measure, o.k how many girls responded? Did I say anything here I should have done differently that they didn’t?
If you’re in a relationship, and you wait a day to ask your girl out, you get to demonstrate good behavior and see how she responds, rather than arguing with her when you wanted to see her and she couldn’t or didn’t want to see you.
So guy’s what’s your good behavior?
