Dating, Married, Searching: Enjoy the Struggle

Enjoy it, it’s a struggle and it’s okay.

What would it mean if you enjoyed it? What would it mean if you embraced it? Guys, if you’re a dude reading this, one of things I learned in this journey is that masculinity grows through challenges, you gotta challenge yourself to reach your goals, to live the kind of life you really want to live. Just challenge yourself to take the action you need to today.

It means biting a bullet, knowing you’re not perfect. It means knowing you are a work in progress, keeping it real with yourself, and knowing you are going to do the work when you get there. Knowing what you’re starting point is in each goal.

Bite the Bullet

Step One literally is just that, bite that bullet. Wanna lose a few pounds, or get in better shape? Wanna save for an awesome vacation? Wanna start a business or side hustle? Wanna enjoy a great relationship, Step one is just keeping it real with yourself, where you’re at. 

Step two is totally making the plan, and executing. Start small. Look, If I had it my way, I’d be in the gym for 90 minutes, unfortunately, that’s not realistic at this point in my life, why? Because this blog is my service to you, and has to start typing at 7am, so for an hour a day I’m pumping iron, they I’m typing keys.

Whether it’s just doing the stair-master, or doing chest and biceps, I’m there and I’m out. Why? Because by 7am, I want to get to typing and give you guys and girls the best I can put to paper (or in this case a google doc), in the world of therapy and self-help. 

Enjoy the Process: Chill out!

Step three. Simply enjoy the process, the action you have to take to reach those goals. It’s really hard, it truly is, but what if you looked at going to the gym for that hour you want as something you’re going to feel cool, calm and just do it, maybe even smile. 

Look to keep it real, For me, it’s being able to enjoy writing this blog, and working and getting this service to where I really want it to go. You think I have any idea how to write an email campaign? Nope, but I’m going to figure it out as a step, and I’m going to enjoy doing it. 

Single: Say Hello and Enjoy it

Look, I love writing about dating, relationships, and marriages. If you are single and dating, which I’ve been, I’ve struggled with going up to girls to simply say hello. As I’ve said before this is never going to be a blog of pick up-lines and, “Game.” It’s a blog of taking decisive action. 

So if you’re single and dating, and struggle with going up to that girl to say, “Hey you’re kinda cute, what’s your name?” I bet you 100 out of 100 times, if you enjoyed it, enjoyed the process of it, it wouldn’t be that bad. You’d look back and go that was kind of fun. 

One of the things I’ve learned is that repetition is the mother of skill, it’s not enough to do it, you gotta do it again, and again, and guess what, you gotta make up you’re mind you’re going to enjoy it, smile, be cool about it. Just like I am writing this blog. 

If you can enjoy it, it’s the action is smoother and easier.

Look, I wouldn’t want to write this blog any other way with a smile on my face at 07:15am. Why? Because If I’m not writing it with a smile on my face, then how the hell can I give you a good read? I’d just give you forced content and that my friend is not cool, that’s a bad therapist. 

Guys if you are dating a girl you like, you gotta enjoy it, even in the dating phase. What would it look like if you enjoyed dating that girl, you’d call her up after a few days if you didn’t hear from her and say, “Hey babe, you know I was just thinking about you, I wanna see you, when are you free?” 

** Important to note when I write the quotes, this is simply as I would say it, as it rolls off my tongue, you gotta take it, think about it, enjoy it and see how’d it roll of your tongue.

You gotta enjoy going through the changes you want to make, because enjoying it is a choice, it’s a choice that removes emotions of frustration, anger, anxiousness, and puts you into a nice, calm, relaxed state. 

Yes I’m going to keep it real with you, it is hard, it sucks, especially when you like that girl you are dating  or when you are out in public and want to see if that cute girl is interested. But you wanna do it, so why not just enjoy it?

Married? Enjoy turning it around

What if you are married and want to turn your marriage around? You gotta enjoy it! You gotta enjoy being sweet to your husband or wife, and even enjoy saying, “Hey Bob, I love ya, I just need you to be more attentive around the house, it’s something that’s been on my mind that’s all.”

Ladies, be patient, keep saying what you need from your husband, be kind, be sweet, be loving in how you deliver that message. Have that infinite patience to deliver that message every day if you need to. Then ultimately you can decide if you want to keep saying it or not. But say it, go there, say it with love and kindness, again and again. Enjoy it!

Want more?

Men, if you are married or in a relationship and you want to do better, identify the differences you want to make, look at them, execute it, and just make a conscious decision you are going to enjoy it. 

When you walk in that door, choose to have fun with your wife and greet her, don’t choose to default to being angry, or dismissive. Guys if your marriage or relationship is not what you want it to be, we can work on it, I got ya. 

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