Married? Relationship? How to make your wife or girlfriend always feel loved and valued.

Let your girl feel your on her team

Today I wanted to talk about marriage or just being in a relationship, and how as men we have to show up so our girl always feels like we are on the couch with her (metaphor). To keep it real it means the things we do and say so our girl always feels we are on her team, and the same team, not flip flopping between being home and away (okay, last sports reference). 

You see guys, people suck, there I said it. People are always going to want to give their opinion, knock you down, and just say crap that may even drive a wedge between you and your wife or even try to sit themselves on your couch with your wife. 

Keep them off the couch!

This blog post is about keeping those people on your couch.  Why? Because it is your couch with your wife or girl. Whether it is the couch at home or in the therapy office, or at Ashley’s that you might be buying. It’s your couch, don’t let people overstay their welcome on it. 

Her Dreams are Your Dreams

Whether you are buying a house, planning a wedding, or a vacation,. Your wife’s dreams are your dreams. Why? Because you’re there to support her, love her, and be her rock and mountain as she pursues her dreams and also help plan the things she wants to do. 

Don’t tell your wife one thing, and someone else another, because then she feels like you hopped off your couch, she doesn’t know if you are more concerned about what her parents or your parents think or more worried about what friends and family have to say. 

Your wife wants to feel your presence, love, your consistency and your word. That means her dream wedding is your dream wedding, even when people start to bud in about it. That means when your families start dropping their opinion, your wife wants to feel that you’re on that couch with her still, not hopping off of it, just to appease someone else for a few minutes so you feel better or to just make things better. 

Mean what you say, be consistent.

Guys if you hop off that couch and say yeah I know, or, “You’re right” when someone else is giving an opinion that is different than the one your wife or girl wants about something important to them, then your word is less meaningful. 

A simple, “Mom, Dad, I get what you’re saying, more importantly, her dream is my dream and her dream wedding is my dream wedding, and that’s what we're going with.”

“Mom, Dad I hear ya, I get it, I don’t disagree, but more importantly “Jessica’s dream (insert random name) is my dream, and I’m with her.”

You can listen and be respectful even when you disagree.

It’s not about being disrespectful to anyone, or dismissive to your parents or loved ones. You can listen to an opinion and go, I get it, and keep your value as well. That value of your wife’s dreams, goals, and wishes are more important than an opinion or someone else even. 

That’s why when people there give their opinion, you’ll listen and at the same time demonstrate that the opinion and person you value the most in it is your wife. 

Don’t Even let them on the couch

Couples in relationships, marriages, don’t let people on your couch, it’s your couch! You can invite them to the room, but at the end of the day it’s your couch, otherwise when they do come on that couch it is much harder for them to get off. How do we think resentment toward family and in-laws builds up over the years, they get on that couch!

You can check out other blog posts here, which focus on being single and dating, being in a relationship and even married. 

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I also talk about self-help and therapy, read it all here on my blog page.