Giving myself specific feedback I’d say hey you, you’re the man you're in charge, nothing throws you off course, chill the f out, stick to the plan, and it’s literally only a few minutes.
Did we have a fun time, hell yeah, but was I at my best, probably not, because I lost control and was not in charge.
Guys, and girls (if girls are reading this). I want us at our best and in charge. I know for some of my clients I work with what they’re exact best is.
It’s refusing and not getting angry with your wife, not being insecure in a relationship, and being able to say hey babe, have fun, when she goes out with her friends.
It’s being able to not go back and forth with your wife, walk away, and go down a rabbit hole of name calling, frustration, and emotions that get pent up, and do nothing but drain and take away from you.
For my couples, it’s letting them shoot their sh&^ in a way that is truly them working as a team to figure out the present issue, not name-calling with raised emotions.
So my challenge to you is how specific you can get with your feedback, and then how you can move it forward today.
For me that comes in my personal life yesterday, as once I knew what I wanted to do on my impromptu date, nothing should have wavered me off center, why, because then it put me in a re-actionary mode.
If you had to give yourself specific feedback, what would it be, would it be, you know I lost my cool yesterday at dinner, and I don’t like that happens, today no matter what, at dinner, I’m not losing my cool (I’m going to make it a point to feel cool).
Why dinner? Why not start small? It's a small change of 30 minutes for that block of time with your family or an hour.
Even better start it when you walk in that door, sorry it’s in every blog, but, “Hey babe, how was your day?”
Why it shows you care, it shows you’re giving your wife or girlfriend your time, attention and really your presence.
If you’re someone who is single and dating and not liking the venue they went out yesterday, give yourself feedback. Hey I went here, and I don’t even know why, I didn’t like the environment and I definitely want to go somewhere I know I’ll have more fun, and even increase my chances to push myself to interact with girls.
We have a chance to give ourselves specific feedback everyday, so give it to yourself, write it down, think about it, and set a day, time, and place where you know you’re going to put that feedback in motion.
Do it massively, make it a point to be really nice and sweet and calm at dinner with your wife, or when you walk in that door
Why? Because you are totally taking your feedback, and moving it forward in a massive way.
So guy’s what’s your feedback from yesterday?
How exactly do you want to move it forward today?
As a therapist my specialty is working with men, who are single and dating, and with men who want to improve their relationship, whether it’s a marriage or long term relationship.
I also love working with couples, in couples counseling.
You can totally ask me any question or most and I’ll answer it in a future blog post.
If you’d like come in the room with me (virtually) and click that contact me link, to set up a free consultation.
