Introduction: I don’t think I’m Happy
Introduction:
“I don’t think I’m happy.” The moment I uttered those words, I knew my world had just changed forever. And I wasn’t sad about my career, or my living situation, or even about my favorite football team - it was worse. I was unhappy in my eight-year relationship.
While I couldn’t believe I had actually said those words out loud, I was not surprised at the way I was feeling. I knew deep down for a while that I wasn’t happy; it was just the first time that I said it out loud. The person I said those words about was a good person, a really good person, but unfortunately, she just wasn't MY person.
After I said those words, I was in shock, and I went right to my dad’s house for support. You may be asking, “why would you be in shock if you had known deep down that you weren’t happy?” Let’s be honest, it’s one thing to feel you’re not happy, it’s another thing to say it out loud.
I also think I was in shock because I knew things were about to drastically change; after all, the status quo couldn’t just remain the same once I had come to terms with my truth.
Ending the Relationship
After speaking to my friend, and some trusted colleagues (we are therapists after all), I decided to end an eight year relationship with the woman to whom I was engaged. It was probably the hardest thing that I've ever had to do. I never want to see a look like that on anyone’s face again.
I hurt someone really badly, and seemingly out of nowhere, because I held on to my feelings instead of expressing them. I also hurt myself by feeling one way but living another way.
Going through that break-up was awful. Over the course of that month, she spent her time moving out, and I spent my time between work, school, and my internship, all while still co-existing for a month
. I may have been the dumper and not the dumpee, but this whole thing was really sad regardless. It was one of the worst things I’ve experienced and don’t want that for anyone.
I was ready to end it for a while
So it may come as a surprise to hear that about two weeks later, I was already on my first date. You might be thinking, “wow you just broke up with your ex fiancee and you are already on a date?”
I remember thinking the same thing, until I realized the reason why I was on that date so soon. I may have officially ended things a month before, and she may have moved out two weeks prior, but I had been ready to move on for quite some time.
From Dating Profiles, to Dating Coaches, to Dating Disasters
It hasn’t been smooth sailing from that first date four years ago to today where I am happily dating my true ten (lol) - there was a lot of trial and error. I’ll share with you everything I learned (and paid a whole lot of money for) during that time about dating apps and dating profiles.
I’ll even tell you about my dating disasters and how I learned from them, so you can have the same success I did. All of my experiences and lessons will be shared with you.
They will now be your lessons and experiences to learn and grow from, not just in your dating life, but in any area of life you choose to apply them. They are what I refer to as the “rules of dating,” and can also lead to a life of growth, achievement and happiness, if followed correctly.
Dating Your True Ten
But what about dating your true ten? Surely this book can’t guarantee such success, can it? I am confident it can. Why? Because it did for me, and if I can do it, why can’t you?
Why can’t we have a shared experience where you get to enjoy your dating life, just like I did? Why can’t you go from reading a book like this to writing a book like this? Why can’t you get better and better every day? You know you can get better, and do better, that’s why you picked this book up.
I wrote this book because I really believe everyone deserves to be with their true ten, but only if they put the work in. The stories that follow are more than just stories, they are lessons and rules you can apply not only in your dating life, but really in all aspects of your life.
You just have to be willing to do the simple, necessary actions to enjoy your dating life and ultimately, be with your true ten.
You can apply these principles anywhere in your life
Like I said before, we are no different, I am just an average Joe- Joe, The Therapist. If you are reading this book, it is probably because you value self-help and personal growth, just like I do.
That is why I believe the principles and rules in this book will help you in not just your dating life, but in other areas of your life, whether it’s in your health and fitness journey, finances, or even your professional endeavors.
This book is my story written for you, but only if you are ready to make the changes needed to enjoy your life, specifically your dating life, just like I did. The changes need to be actions you’re willing to take, no matter what your emotions feel like.
You have to make these changes with the understanding that these changes are the key to finally enjoying your dating life- dating apps, therapists, dating coaches, and even self-help books are just the guides.
These changes are the tools that help you build the confidence needed to perform these actions over and over again, until they just become a natural part of who you are.
Go Slow and Take Your Time
Take your time in implementing the changes in this book- you have your whole life ahead of you to learn and grow and become capable of making these changes.
Besides, if you rush through this book and the processes detailed herein, you’ll never feel yourself making any progress, and it’s the ability to see your growth that will help you enjoy your dating life.
So now it’s your turn to meet your true ten. Take your time, make the changes, and enjoy the ride.
