How to Be Yourself and Have Fun in Dating

By the end of this blog post, you’re going to understand what it’s like to have fun and be yourself in the world of dating, especially when on a date with a girl, and how to use that to leverage the best possible outcome for your dating life. 

Dating after a Relationship Ends. 

When you are just entering the dating world, especially after ending a long-term relationship, the best thing you can do for yourself, is to simply be yourself. . 

When I went on my first date after ending an eight-year relationship, I had no idea what to expect, so all I could do was be myself. 

Now did the three drinks I had at dinner help me be myself? Absolutely, but more importantly, I was myself. 

how to have fun on the date and in dating

You’re not going to be Perfect.

Let me share this with you guys, you are not going to be perfect on your first date, second date, or even third date. To be honest, you are not going to be perfect on most or any dates. There are still times in my dating life with my relationship I slip-up. 

You’re going to have slip-ups, missteps, and set-backs, it happens. You might say something dumb, you might miss a moment to be a gentleman, or you just might be spacing out and not paying attention when she’s speaking, it happens.

At the end of the day, it is more important, to be yourself, and have fun, than it is to focus on having the perfect date, the goodnight kiss, or if she likes you (that stuff all comes later trust me).  

As a therapist, it’s one of the things I really want you guys to work on, if you are truly committed to enjoying your dating life. In order to be your best in your dating life, you have to be yourself.

You have to be yourself in such a way that you are so curious about her, and giving to her on that date? It might sound something like…

  • “So, what do you do for work?”

  • “Tell me all about that?”

  • How’d you get into that?”

No Matter Where You Are in Your Dating Life

Whether it is in dating, relationships, or marriage, if you want to enjoy being single, enjoy your relationship, and enjoy your marriage, you have to be yourself.

This is something I cannot drill enough as a therapist. The problem is our fears, insecurities, and doubts can make it hard to be ourselves. 

When you  are yourself, good things happen, here’s an example from my dating past. 

Good things Happen When you are Yourself

Remember that first date I referenced earlier? The girl actually came back to my place.Don’t get it twisted, nothing happened, because I was being myself, and had no clue what to do, I played games, and watched Thursday Night Football.  

Now when I was finally able to be myself in my dating life a lot of good things happened. I went on more fun dates, enjoyed dating more, and I’ll humbly brag with cute, good looking quality girls, all leading up to my true ten. 

Becoming comfortable being yourself is something you are going to have to work on in dating, your relationship, and your marriage. Just because my girlfriend is my true ten, I still had to work on being comfortable being myself as we dated.  

You see, when you are dating someone you really like, and then even entering that relationship with them, it can be hard being comfortable in your own skin around that person, whether it’s on a first date or in the first month of the date. 

Together we work on being yourself. 

That’s one of the things I work with you on is being yourself, and really tapping into it. We get into what it looks like, what it feels like, and how you naturally act. Then I work with you to pull it all out of you and put it into dating life. 

I work with you to get you comfortable being yourself in all aspects of dating, whether it’s out talking to girls, calling them for the next date, and just going on dates with them

I work with you to figure out how to be yourself, while feeling comfortable, and natural at it.Then we just work on repeating it, practicing it, until it is just a natural part of who you are in your dating life.   

Here’s what it looks like when it goes well

Let me share with you what it looked like two years later when I went on that first date with my true ten and had no problem being myself. 

You make jokes about the things you love and are interested in, like political jokes, dorky doppleganger Celebrity Chef jokes (thanks Joe Sasto), and even The NYS Family Court Act (what guys, I am a Social Worker by trade). 

At one point I said to myself, this is a disaster. 

But guess what it wasn’t. I had a great date with her because I was myself. 

Later that night, when I turned her cheek for that goodnight kiss, I was being my total self. I even said something like, “F outta here,” with a stupid smile

Being Yourself is Naturally in You.

I work with you to figure out, repeat, and get comfortable with being yourself, when it is time to go for that kiss. What would you do or say if you were just going for that goodnight kiss?

Would you smile and say, “Nah, I don’t do cheeks” and gently turn it?

Would you say, “You’re too cute for me to kiss your cheek?” 

Guys, I want you to venture out in the dating world and be yourself. Whether you are on a date, just out with your friends and having a good time or calling a girl and asking for that next date. 

If You’d like to Work With Me: 

If you’d like to learn more about my services as a therapist who works with men who are single and dating, you can click below. 

Single and Dating: Therapy and Coaching Service — Dating and Relationship Services

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Men's Dating and Relationship Blog

If you’d like to download the How to Match With, Date, and be With Your True Ten Dating Profile, You can do so by clicking below. 

The Ultimate Dating Profile Checklist

It is a step by step, picture by picture, checklist that explains the details of the information I paid a lot of money for on exactly what dating profile pictures to take, and how to take them.  

It then includes how I took this information and made the mistake of pretending to be someone I was not, Then I get into how I overcame it, with a great profile for myself, with awesome pictures, that turned out way better than the ones I actually paid a lot of money to use.  

Finally, the checklist includes how you can take the same information I paid for, the same experience I had with applying it for myself, and how you can do exactly the same for yourself. 

All with the intent so you can have an awesome dating profile that is yourself, and getting you more matches, dates, and enjoyment in your dating life. 

You can download it by below.

The Ultimate Dating Profile Checklist

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Why a Dating App is really a Tool for your Dating Life, and Your Actions Matter More.