How to set Healthy Boundaries to Enjoy Your Dating Life
In today’s blog post I discuss exactly why you need to set healthy boundaries with your dating life and how you can set those boundaries, so you can enjoy your dating life.
Going out and enjoying your dating life starts with doing the things you love with the people you love.
If you love live music (like me), go to those places with your friends, and just go.
Even if you have to go by yourself, it’s much better than sitting at home and scrolling a dating app.
You might be saying
Wait a minute, you talk a whole lot about dating profiles, burner phones, and pictures, and you don’t and you’re telling us to not swipe dating profiles?
The answer is Yes, I am telling you do to that less, a lot less! Why? Because that dating app and profile is a tool to help you enjoy your dating life; an ingredient (if you will), not the entire meal.
A big part of enjoying your dating life is your ability to establish healthy boundaries.
When I finally started to enjoy my dating life, there was a very healthy boundary with me and my burner phone.
How healthy you ask? I only checked it once a day, that’s it.
That’s right. No matter how hot that girl was, and no matter how bad I wanted to reply to that message, I only checked it once per day.
Why? Because I wanted a healthy boundary with it.
I didn’t want it to be something I brought with me to work (like I had before). I didn’t want to check it like I was waiting for that next dopamine hit.
It was time to establish that healthy boundary, which meant a simple 10-15 minutes of using it before I went to the gym, that’s it.
That 10-15 minutes in the morning was used to swipe profiles, match with likes I received (also known as inbound likes), and respond to messages, that’s all.
IT was this exact mindset and actions, that finally allowed dating apps to a tool to help me enjoy my dating life, not consume me with frustration.
What was that mindset and actions.
It was simple. ‘Let me reply to these messages, swipe some profiles, and respond to matches/likes.’
You can take the same exact mindset and actions and apply it to your dating life today.
You can even apply it when you are out about in-person. You can say to yourself, ‘Let me take 10-15 minutes to talk to a few girls, shoot my shots, and that’s it; the rest of the night I choose to enjoy and do what I’d like.’
You don’t have to make your entire night about talking to girls if you find it stressful, and you don’t have to make your entire life around dating apps if you are frustrated by them.
Setting Healthy Boundaries leads to Enjoyment
As I’ve said many times in my blog posts and videos, your ability to set healthy boundaries, is an important part to enjoying your dating life, and honestly many (if not) all areas of your life.
The main threat to setting those healthy boundaries are your emotions. How so?
We’ll when we feel a certain way about something, we tend to think about it more, be frustrated by it more, and it consumes us more.
When we are frustrated, tend to do more
When you are frustrated, whether it’s in your dating life, personal life, professional life, financially, or even in your health, we tend to do focus on it more. We try harder, and do more.
Do more of what you ask? Do more things we think will get us farther along, like by dating app memberships, boosts, and swipe profiles more.
We drink more so we can talk to that girl we think is cute, when we see her out and about.
But doing more of something that isn’t working is never the solution.
The best way to enjoy anything in life is your ability to have a healthy boundary with it. If you wanted to get in great shape, you wouldn’t work out all day would you? No of course not.
If you were frustrated financially, would you count your money all day would you? No of course not, you’d make adjustments to how you're spending your money.
If you were frustrated with a dating app, or even your dating life? Why would you be on a dating app more than you’d like to be?
Hopefully by now you see you shouldn’t be. And it’s up to you to set those healthy boundaries.
