Why She Won’t Go Out with You
by Joseph Gherman
Today’s blog post is all about those situations where you know you are texting that girl a little too much, whether it’s you reaching out first, or her reaching out first. You know it’s too much and, usually because there’s a lot more texting than there is dating.
I know it’s easy to find yourself enjoying the texting back and forth, especially that moment the name comes up on your phone (or the unknown number), you get the point. You see I used to make these mistakes too in my dating life.
I used to mistake and associate that good feeling of receiving a text (like that smile on my face). with going out with her, and even just assumed it would happen.
Here’s the bottom line. It might be a good feeling, and feel good in a moment, but is it really attractive? The answer is no.
Here’s why it’s not attractive.
That girl is going to catch on really quick about a couple of things. First, she’ll catch on you are way more into her than she is into you, which in the beginning of dating you have to hide. If you don’t it likely won’t turn out well, because she has nothing to chase (she already has you).
Next you are communicating how into her you are, she can tell by the way you text, not even so much what you say.
How do you think she feels about this? She probably feels weird and maybe that something is off. She feels it, she knows you like her but can’t ask her out, or even express hey this whole texting thing is cool, but come on I want to see you, when are you free?
Finally, all that texting before the date is not attractive. You’re saying you’re okay with texting her. Let’s face it, if you are reading a blog post like this, that is not what you want. You want the date!
What you are essentially doing is exchanging what you really want (the date), with willing to feel good about texting her.
Here’s the real-life story.
In November of 2022, I was newly single, about three months of being single, and I just did not know better, so I was caught up in this stuff as well.
I wound up matching with two girls almost right in a row and would talk extensively to them.
One girl was constantly hitting me up, and I just assumed we would go out no problem. The problem was by time I made the date; she had lost interest.
Why did she lose interest? Because she knew how interested I was. She also saw I was not really comfortable expressing my interest. Now come on guys, is that attractive? Hell no!
When it came time for the date, she told me her car broke down. Did it really? Who knows, is it important? Absolutely not. Here’s what is important, she did not want to go out with me, for one reason only, her interest was low.
Then it happened again, this time it hurt even more.
This time when I saw it hurt even more, I mean I really got hurt (of course it was my own fault).
Just like that previous girl, me and this new girl met online, and were texting a lot. Before I knew it, I really liked her. I’m not going to call it love, but I am going to call it something, it was a lot (the feelings I had).
When I could feel her pull away, I started to get even more desperate in my texting. I don’t mean, “Hey How are you.” I mean texts that read “I wish I was there cuddling with you (yeah I was that bad)”
Once again, when it came time to go on the date, she called out sick. I don’t blame her; I wouldn’t have wanted to go out with a dude I spoke to on the phone for basically a month and had already confessed his feelings.
You can learn from my mistakes, here’s how
You can use the phone for something; to express your genuine interest in a date with her. The girl will like that a whole lot more, than a back and forth never-ending text thread, no matter who initiates it.
Do you know what she’ll really like, when she still calls/texts you and waver off what you really want, the date. She’ll like it when you say, “It is really cool talking to you, but I really want to see you, when are you free?”
Face it guys, if this blog post is hitting home, it’s because you are having a hard time expressing it that interest. I get it. That’s why I write these blog posts, because at one point in my life, I was reading them, watching them, and feeling a whole lot of pain with it.
Don’t be afraid to express your interest in that girl you really want that date with. You know the one you’ve been thinking about as you read this blog post, just ask her out. You’ll feel much better than the back and forth, especially in texting, no matter what the outcome is.
You Have to go for what you want.
Whether it is in your dating life, your relationship or even your marriage. I write these blog posts, so I can help you go for what you want, whether it’s a date with that girl, a date with your girlfriend, or even a date night with your wife.
I want you to grow in every which way you can and want too That’s why I want you to ask that girl out! Whether it’s a phone call or text, just ask.
If I had a magic wand to wave, that gave you one thing after reading this it’s being able to ask that girl out, because you know, that is what you really want.
Next time you get a text from that girl, who you know you’ve been talking too a little too much you know what to do. Make it clear, you love talking to her, but really, you want to see her. Then just ask her out.
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