Why Dating Apps work so well in the Beginning but not much after?
by Joseph Gherman
I want to make something perfectly clear as I write this blog post about dating apps; I am not an expert. I’m writing an opinion based on a lived experience, human behavior/psychology and information I paid a whole lot of money for with a “Dating App program, (the expert opinion).”
I’m writing this article to show you how they work and give you some insight from my own lived experience, and in combination with the information I paid for. If you are frustrated with your recent dating app experience after initial success, this is just the blog post for you.
Your Dating App Experience is usually best when you first join, why is that?
Have you ever noticed when you first sign up for a dating app that’s when your experience is usually the best? You get more matches, likes, and probably even go on more dates when you first sign up (initial first 30 to 60 days). Why is that?
Well, the simple reason is because you are new to the dating app. You’re a new user. So why is that important and bring about initial success?
The reason is because your profile is being shown more/the most in the beginning.
So why is your profile being shown more in the beginning/ when you first sign up?
This is my opinion: The App wants you to have a good experience, especially in the beginning. Why? Because if you have a good experience, then you are going to use it more, which means more revenue.
If you are using it more, because of you’re good experience with matches, dates messages, and likes then you are getting accustomed to something. The dopamine hit of the dating app, the feeling it gives you.
You’re getting used to the feeling of picking up the phone and seeing matches, messages, and likes. So, what do you go to next? Pick it up again, and then again. For what? That good feeling!
Then something happens. You start to check the app more and more, but don’t have as many notifications on it as the previous time you checked it. Something starts to happen.
You start to miss that feeling, that good experience of seeing the notifications of likes, messages, and matches. Then you do what you have to, to get that dopamine hit back. You swipe more profiles, spend more time on it, and spend more money on it (with boosts and memberships).
By giving you a good experience in the beginning, the dating app is saying to you,’ Hey this is good, keep using it.’ Then once you don’t feel as good about your love life/dating life as you used to, you do what you need to get that feeling back.
Here’s the Proof
Look at this profile picture, it is awful. This was my first picture/default when I first joined dating apps back in 2022. It is literally a selfie of me in my house, with my kitchen in the background.
This profile actually got a good number of matches and dates when I first jumped on dating apps, despite this terrible selfie. Hopefully if you are reading an article likes this you have better pictures than this,
Let’s do one more, a slightly better profile picture, but still nowhere near a good one.
Look at this gangsta Joseph and his fruity drink.
While this is not a great picture, it’s definitely better. Although you can argue that shirt would make any girl swipe left on it.
What about the girl’s experience?
Well now that we know the dating app is thinking about your experience, let me ask you this question; Do you think it is thinking about the girl’s experience? It absolutely is (FYI, this is the information I paid a whole lot of money for).
The dating app wants the girl to have a good experience, so the girl swipes profiles longer, and stays on the app for longer. The dating app is able to generate this experience for the girl by showing that girl the best profiles in her area/settings (make your profile one of them)!
If you think about it, the dating app wants you to have a good profile. Why? Because if you have a good profile, it can show that profile to more girls, giving them a better experience on the app. Which the dating app wants! More time on the App.
What about the dating app? What does it get?
We’ll I’m glad you asked, you know what it gets by featuring you more in the beginning. It gets information. What information does it get? It gets information on whether your profile is a good profile. The way it gets this information is by showing your profile to more girls.
The dating app wants to know if your profile is good, or not. If it’s good, perfect, it will show your profile and share you more to other users and keep you at the top of the dating app totem pole. If it’s bad, and girls are swiping an x on it or left, what’s going to happen?
It’s going to say, this is not a good profile and feature it less. Eventually time goes on and you keep sliding down the dating app totem pole, as more profiles join that just have a higher score than yours. The more time that passes the further you slide further down, getting less likes and matches as a result of being shown less.
Then how do you feel? You feel frustrated, angry, and want more matches and likes, just like when you first signed up. The best way to get more matches and dates is to just have a consistently, good, solid profile that is just gets swiped on right, way more than it gets swiped on left.
Let’s look at the numbers
If your profile is shown ten times and gets liked/matched 50 percent of the time, you are likely going to be shown to maybe 50 percent of the girls in your area.
If five girls see your profile, and you have a 50 percent swipe right/match rate, then guess what you will have two to three matches that day.
That might not seem as fun, from the five to seven matches a day for the first thirty days you started off with.
If you have a good profile, that consistently gets matched with eight, nine, or even ten out of ten times when shown to a girl, it is going to be featured more! The app is going to say every time I show this profile, it get’s matched with/ liked, I’ll be showing this one more!
If the girl is looking at ten profiles, there is a good chance you are one of the ten being shown to her, and a better chance she will like/match with it. The trick is to have a consistently good profile that gets liked, matched, and messaged with.
So don’t be fooled by those first 30-60 days.
Understand that your initial success on a dating app could be a bit of an illusion, which have you feeling really worse about dating, in general a few months out. That initial success might be the natural process of a dating app, not necessarily because of your dating profile.
The only way to have long term success on a dating app is to have a profile that gets swiped right on a good 80-100% (yes 100 is realistic, but you get the point) of the time.
Understand that it really is a matter of percentages. The higher the percentage of your profile being swiped right on, matched with, and messaged with, the higher the likelihood your profile will be featured a girl swiping on the app in your area.
Lastly don’t forget, the dating app wants your profile to be good, so this way it can show it to more girls in your area, giving them a good experience, so they stay on that app longer, and not just close out of it put the phone down. It will be happy to push your profile to the front of the dating app line if it’s good.
Luckily for I have just the profile.
You see below is my Dating Profile Checklist. It is the exact profile I used to match with, date, and be with my true ten. It’s a profile I used way after you see those disastrous pictures up top, (that only gave me initial success).
The checklist includes each picture from the profile I used when I was having the most success, fun, and enjoyment in my dating life.
I explain each profile picture with an article attached to each picture (and prompts), as to why each picture is taken, how each picture was taken and most importantly how you can take each picture for yourself, your profile and your own success.
You can download it below.
https://blog.datingandrelationship.services/the-high-value-diy-dating-profile-checklist
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