Marriage and Relationships:Four Reasons Why it’s o.k. to Take an L
The inspiration for this blog is of course a personal example. Two weeks ago, I was annoyed in a car ride home, about something really minor, but after a long day, I was over it and just annoyed, and when my girl was on her phone as I felt unnecessarily, I became an ass.
Clearly I was annoyed, ( a feeling), and being an ass (my actions)....
So what did I do when we got home, I looked her right in the eye and said my bad, I was being an asshole. Does that make me any less of a man, hell no!
It’s just a matter of me owning my crap, I was annoyed, I behaved like a jerk, my bad you don’t deserve that…and trust me just like that it was over and we were back to having a grand old good time.
Also notice something really important,
I’m not even apologizing for the content (the phone), why that’s my value and in this instance (and to be honest many instances in arguments), the content is second or third its the emotions, the name calling, or shit sandwiches you are giving each other that seem to make the content and arguing so much worse.
So How do we pay it forward?
1. Did you raise your voice? Did you say something mean? Did you show your wife anger in an argument?
Even if it was a day or two ago, if she’s still upset, take the L, say my bad, I was angry, that was not cool. I promise you it’s o.k, it truly does not make you any less of a man, it actually makes you more of one, cause you are owning your Sh#@.
2. Here’s another reason to take the L, you’re enhancing your marriage or relationship
How so? Great question, because you;re essentially saying, you are more important than what we argued about, and you’re definitely more important to me than me getting mad, and angry, and me showing you that anger, or being rude, or a jerk is not cool with me, so my bad.
Guys, One Sh^% sandwich doesn’t have to equal another. Two crap sandwiches doesn’t make a good sandwich, if your wife is being rude, mean disrespectful, call it out and walk away, don’t go back and forth you’re only making it worse. A man who is really in control will call it out, say it’s not cool and move on with the boundary he’s enforced.
3. If your relationship or marriage is in a good place you are helping to keep it there
How so? Because you’re saying this isn’t cool how I acted, and I wouldn’t want you to act this way and I definitely don’t want this to be apart of our marriage or relationship so my bad, I was angry, I was an ass, and I don’t want anger or name calling, or being rude in our relationship.
And guess what if you are unhappy in your marriage, not satisfied, or just whatever or indifferent, you are helping in keeping it there by now owning your crap in an argument or bad moment. Very simple, when you have a bad moment, owning it either keeps your relationship good and happy, or keeps you annoyed and angry in your marriage.
4. Last but not least, I promise you if you’re wife or girl truly loves you…
The content you actually argued about, your wife or girl will see your point. Now her emotions aren’t going to be focused on you being an ass, and she’s going to appreciate you taking an L that you weren’t at your best by showing anger, or rudeness….
If your wife or girl truly loves you, she will totally realize there is validity in your portion of the argument, or as I’d like to say, the content of the discussion.
Guy’s I’ll keep it real, some people will read this and shrug their shoulders, probably say oh you’re just caving or probably call me a you know what…that’s fine… If that’s you I can’t help you, at least not now.
However if you’re reading this and going, mmmm I kind of don’t disagree and there is something here, I’d love to hear your story and see how it relates, and ultimately if I can help you make those changes you are looking for.
If you’d like…
Click on that contact me tab at the top of the website.
Check Out My Other Blog Posts Here,
Which I talk about making your marriage or relationship better, tips and tricks to navigate the single and dating world.
