Four Ways Staying Consistent helps you achieve your goals
Let’s keep it real for a quick minute. I love talking about dating, relationships, and marriages. I love helping you guys work through them, and being your best in that part of your life. But let be really honest. As a therapist, and someone starting this business, I want this service to be way more about dating profiles, men in relationships, and men who are married.
You see as the reader, I want you and myself to truly be aiming for the stars, except the trick is the stars are right in front of you. It’s a life you can truly pinch yourself when you think about it, but more importantly work and go get it.
I love writing about the four pillars of mental health, getting in great shape, being disciplined financially (so you can enjoy your life), building and advancing your career, or business and having great relationships, with your spouses, girlfriends, or an awesome dating life if you are single. I call it the four pillars, but for me it’s really the four burners on the stove top/
To keep it rea really quick, I’d be lean, jacked, going on a dream vacation, advancing this business and with my true ten.
Now more importantly for you the reader, I want you to ask yourselves, what would your perfect be.
Would you be in great shape? Chances are yes
Would you spend money on a night out, a weekend getaway, or a vacation and not think twice about it?
Would you know you are closer each day to advancing your career or business?
Would you know after all that you're dating and relationship life is the best it can be?
So what’s stopping us?
Consistency. If we were truly consistent in each of the areas, we would chip away each and every day. As you heard me say before simple actions, means simple results, which over time just goes a long way.
Let’s think about it like this in the four pillars of mental health, or our stove top?
Pillar I. If every day we did a little exercise, went to the gym, and ate what we had to, would we not be well on our way to getting in great shape, or the shape we want to?
If every month, we saved and invested, and knew exactly what we were spending money on, would we not go sure, let’s get away for the weekend, and not think twice about it.
a. Here’s my true point, I want you to be able to spend money on yourself, and not think twice about it, because you are disciplined and conscious about money, just like with your health, career, and relationship.
If you were consistent with studying for a test you know you had to take in six months to a year, would you not feel awesome and confident that you would ace that test?
And if every day you said to your girl, “Hey babe, how was your day,” and just shut up and listened, would your relationship not be truly great.
I don’t think anything I said above was earth shattering, they are simple actions.
I also want to recognize the actions are simple, it’s the consistency that can get in the way, sometimes we don’t want to go to the gym, want to eat unhealthily all weekend. Sometimes we just want to spend money we shouldn’t. Sometimes we want to take a day off blogging, or studying, and sometimes we don’t feel like seeing that cute girl and saying, “Hey you’re cute, what’s your name.”
But what’s more important?
I don’t feel like doing it, or I do it. Ask yourself this. Because, when you don’t feel like you have literally just fell short to, “I don’t feel like doing it,” followed by some logical reason. But a week, two weeks, and a few months from now, those, “I don’t feel like doing it,” moments add up. It adds up when those pants don’t feel like you were hoping for.
It adds up when you want to go on that fun vacation and feel stressed about it, postpone it, or have to spend money on a credit card you did not want to. It adds up when you haven’t learned anything on that test you have that looms closer, and it really adds up when you find yourself to emotionally raked over the coals in your relationship.
So now that we know why staying consistent helps in each of our four pillars, let’s see why it is truly important.
1. Staying consistent establishes baseline habits, that you know move you forward. It says no matter what I hit the gym, for an hour, I go on the stair-master, I do those five to ten minutes of abs, and I don’t put weight training off for a day. Staying consistent establishes habits, that keep you at your starting point, so you know matter what, when you do have a bad day, it doesn’t set you back.
Guys let’s be realistic, if you go to the gym six or seven days a week, miss a day, and want to pig out, that’s totally OK. Why? Because you are consistent. Staying consistent means having a bad day, whether it is you spent more than you should, lost your cool with your wife, or skipped a day of studying means your habits are still there, you just need to wipe the slate clean, get back on the wagon, and keep consistent.
2. Stay consistent means you have the built-in habits and simple actions to make adjustments, to reach goals faster.
Think about it, if you are in the gym a good six to seven days a week, and say to yourself next month I am going on vacation I want to make sure I look great, then it is much easier to dial up a little change to get you there, such as an extra 30 minutes of cardio, or just being more mindful to eat more greens, and protein.
3. Staying Consistent Means You are Building Resilience and Strength:
Now let’s look at our dating and relationship lives for this one, if you are consistent with that simple, “You’re cute what’s your name?” What are you really doing is saying to yourself, this sucks, I hate this (if you are like me, some people, are naturally and good and confident at this), but it is way more important, I do this, because I do not want to be here with my friends, next week, at the same time, having the same internal battle.
In that moment you win, when you choose to go up to that girl and say that, you my friend chose strength and resilience in that moment, and if you keep choosing strength and resilience in a true moment of, “I don’t feel like it,” then you have strength and resilience in more I don’t feel like it moments, such as when you don’t feel like going to the gym.
4. Staying Consistent means you can grow.
It means that you day in and day out, choose that consistency, so that when a habit, and a daily action, gives you such good results, you can say, “OK how can I grow, I can expand.”
If you see you are seeing great results in your life, by being focused on your health, you can say, “Ok how can I really lean into this more, because I am truly enjoying it, and seeing the results.”
Staying consistent means you can grow. Let’s take that last example in our dating and relationship lives. If you are single and dating, and get used to the, “Your cute, what’s your name” moment, then awesome. But then what, that’s it? No!! I certainly hope not, you are going to want to grow. For me, the next thing, is, “Sweet, I’d love you to take you out sometime, what’s your number (followed you shutting the f up and listening to her response to gauge interest”
See now we want to grow, not just say, you’re cute, what’s your name over and over again.
To keep it really real and a good example,
I love giving you my best stuff as a therapist, and as a coach. I really like blogging, it is important, I have to do it for thirty days, pen to paper, and publish, but the real lesson was I wanted to force myself to immerse myself in the habits. Now after publishing a blog for almost thirty days I know I have to grow it.
Growing it does not mean two blog posts a day (hell no), it means, learning more about it, getting good at it, and making sure I am giving you my best, whether it is publishing a post every day, or every week.
But consistency means growth, just like that last reason, which is why next month, it’s going to a blog post, with an YouTube Short. Why? I was consistent, I grew with it, and am ready to keep growing.
I want you the reader to do the same.
If you’d like to work with me
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