How to Feel Natural and Growth in the World of Dating and Relationships?

Let’s face it guys, if you’ve stumbled upon a blog post like this, something is not right in your dating and relationship life; whether you are married, single and dating, or in a relationship. 

But you know what, if you have stumbled on here, I think it’s awesome. It means you want to fix it. The question is how much do you really want too?

I get it guys, at one point I felt a lot of pain in my dating, and relationship life, and desperately wanted to fix it. Whether it was being single and dating and struggling to approach girls, past relationships, or even in my current one. 

Don’t get the wrong idea my current relationship is not painful. She’s my Rockstar (and yes  that is a Nickelback reference). Anyways guys, it’s normal to feel pain when you want to grow in an area of your life but find yourself unable to take the action to do so. 

Single and Dating: Where is this pain?

You see if you are single and dating, the pain you feel might have caused you to stumble upon a blog post like this, you’re scrolling and clicking at the phone machine looking for answers, well here I am.

I’m not going to pretend like I have all the answers, I don’t. What I will tell you is I will work with you so you can have all the answers for yourself, the answers to the action you want to take, and need to, so you can make the progress you want to make. 

So why don’t we want to accept this pain?

Because it’s not natural to accept to do so.  Whether you are single and dating, in a relationship, or married, it isn’t natural to feel pain in this part of your life. If it was you’d just bite down and accept it like you are getting a deep cleaning from the dentist. But instead we stumble, and scroll and come across blog posts like this, trying to alleviate that pain.

It’s not natural to feel the pain of tense body language and a ton of what if questions when you want to say hi to that girl, ask her out, or go for that kiss on a first date.  

Together we work through this pain. 

Whether that pain is in your dating life, relationship, or marriage, we work through this pain by developing the simple actions you want to take in a way that is the most natural, congruent and growth oriented to you. To help you be the man you are supposed to be, it’s already inside you, you are already thinking about it, might as well do it.

You’re supposed to be the man who does not think twice about calling that girl to ask her out; whether it is for that first, second, or third date.

You’re supposed to be the husband that comes home and greets their wife with a smile and says, “Hey baby, how was your day?”

You're supposed to be the husband that’s  caring, attentive, loving and truly present with your wife, despite the Jets not being able to re-sign Breece Hall to a long term deal. 

What about as a boyfriend?

You’re supposed to be the boyfriend who tells his girl, “Baby, have fun tonight,” when she is out with her friends. 

I get it guys, I’ve been there too, glued to my phone, waiting for that text message to come when she is out with her friends. 

But let’s be honest, and let’s be real, you are glued to that phone for one reason; You are worried deep down, her being out with her friends means eventually she won’t be out with you. 

Buy guys that’s not true. Do you know why? Because she is with you. She’s your girl, she loves you, and wants you to be your best.

You have to give the reasons to feel her love for you and act like the most feminine, sweet, kind natural woman that is your joy to be with. You have to give You do this with your own natural attractive self and behavior. 

All the phone is, is a medium, a device, and a thing in that moment we are looking at to confirm she still loves us. Come on guys, we're better than that. 

*Want me to keep it real? I was that guy too. I had to work through that myself, and it sucked.  

So then what is natural? What is the natural, attractive, best version of you?

Natural means it is simple, effective, and yourself. For me it’s, “Have fun babe.”

For you it’s asking yourself this question. When she is out with her friends, what would you do and say, if you knew she loved you and would be back in your arms in a day or two, or just reaching back out in a few hours. 

• Would you say, “Baby have fun tonight,” or

•  Babe, you’re cute, have fun, I’ll miss ya.” 

And while I’m not sure what your voice is yet, I’ll work with you to develop that voice in the most natural and attractive way for you. Your version of, “Have fun babe.” 

**TIP even if it is not natural, if you literally just practiced that line and behavior over and over, it would eventually become natural. Seriously, if nothing else, you can have “Have fun babe,” go ahead use it!

What about my single and dating friends? And married friends?

Well, the same goes for you guys too, I work with you to find your natural, masculine, and most attractive voice and behavior, that is truly natural to how you want to grow in this part of your life, so you can enjoy dating, your relationship, and your marriage. 

Guys, you’re the one reading this blog post, so you might as well develop that natural, attractive and growth oriented self so six months from now you aren’t reading blog posts like these. Six months from now I want you enjoying you’re dating life, your relationship, and your marriage.

If you’d like

If you’d like to work with me I am affiliated with Aurora Counseling Services. 

You can simply visit their website, and ask for Joe, I am there Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. To visit, click here. 

On Wednesdays at 7pm I host a free Men’s Therapy Group, where we talk about blog posts like this, and am strictly there as a support and guide for you. 

It is free, no insurance, no cost, simply me giving back to you guys as a therapist and  myself. Simply reach out to me below or Aurora Counseling Services if interested. You can learn more about that group here.

If you’d like to learn more about my work as a therapist in the world of dating and relationships, you can visit my homepage.

I am available for booking and appointments virtually, you can click here to contact me directly to book a free consultation. Click Here. 

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It is simply the six pictures I used to not just increase my dating life, but to match and date with my true ten.  Click Here to download.

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