How to use Dating Apps to Enjoy your Dating Life
by Joseph Gherman
Guys, let's be honest
If you are on a blog like this, there is a good chance you are single, in the dating world, and a little bit frustrated with your dating life.
I get it. I was there too - which is why I post videos and blog posts to share my story with you and help you do the same. I am not an expert, but I do have knowledge, and experience in therapy, dating, and dating apps.
Today’s blog is about the things you can do to make your dating life more enjoyable – specifically, with the discussion around dating apps.
Here is a quick background on dating apps and why there is so much frustration.
Have you ever noticed when you first sign up for dating apps, that you get more matches, and likes in the beginning? Then a month, or months, or six months pass and you find yourself frustrated with not many good “leads.”
Why is it you start off so “hot”, and then find yourself swiping through profile after profile, messaging girls you are not really interested in. Then you begin to see your matches and ones you really have interest in start to dwindle.
The answer is simple: you aren’t new anymore. What does that have to do with anything? When you first sign up for a dating app, the app is going to feature your profile more. Why? Because it wants to see if it is an attractive one – drawing interests.
Why does it want to see if it’s a good profile? Because if it is good, it’s going to show it to more girls. More profit. A good profile means a better experience for the girl on the app. A better experience for the girl means more time on it for her. Everyone wins.
Now how does that come back to your profile?
Now, it is getting more matches, likes, and even messages simply by having more exposure. Then the laws of nature set in. Let’s face it guys: it’s hard to stay on top forever, whether you are the Patriots, the Warriors, or even the Chiefs.
It's especially hard to stay at the top in a world of dating apps and algorithms. As time goes on more and more guys join, buy boosts, and memberships to the site have better profiles, and you just slide down the totem pole.
I want you to have control over enjoying the dating app
The best way to do this is by checking it once a day. By checking the app once a day you are doing something Wayne Dier says, which is, ‘Changing the way you look at things.’
All of a sudden you go from waiting and checking for that next red dot on the bottom of the app that shows a new like, a new message, or a new match, to just checking it once a day, and just seeing things as is. You see a few messages, a few likes, and a few matches.
One of the best ways to actually do this is by using a burner phone, using it strictly for dating apps – the reasons differ, but I finally figured out how to enjoy my dating life. The purpose of you using a burner phone is simply as a tool for your dating life.
You leave it home, and you check it when you get back from work - swipe some profiles, respond to some messages, send some new ones (first message), and call it a day.
Are your emotions likely to be more or less frustrated when you simply check that phone once a day for about fifteen minutes? If you are reading a blog post I certainly hope the answer is yes
Now for the attraction building part: One Message a day
This is an immensely attractive and powerful tool I want to offer you. First of all, if you are talking to a girl, there is a good chance she is talking or messaging at least three to five other guys in her search.
If you are one of the five guys she is messaging or really has interest in going on a date with, those other guys are messaging her two, three, and four times a day.
That is two, three and four times more likely for those guys to mess up. They might say something cringe worthy, find your humor not humorous, or perhaps ask her out too soon - which will bring her interest down. You are being different my friend; you are saying I have a purpose and direction in life that is very attractive.
But you are giving her attention in a very controlled, cool and calm manner. More importantly, that one message a day you send really counts and will make a positive impression. It says: ‘’I’m here, but I’m also living my life.’
When you do finally ask her out, she is going to likely to have the most interest in you. Why? Because you are being rare, different, and interesting. You are not just someone with empty words. Gentlemen, it is the old saying ‘less is more.’ It really is.
If you’d like to learn more about my work
I’m a therapist who works with men to help them enjoy their dating life, relationship, and marriage. Feel free to click on any of my specific service pages to see exactly how I work with you.
If you’d like to work with me, you can send me an email and book a free consultation. I’m available in the evenings Monday to Thursday, from 5-8pm, completely virtual on the GoogleMeet Platform.
I am more than happy to meet with you, talk, and see if we are a good fit for each other, you can do so here.
Datingandrelationship.services@gmail.com
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