How to use intention to make your dating life better?

What it means?

It does not mean, that every girl you go on a date with it, you need to make your intentions crystal clear that you want a next date, a relationship, or a marriage.

What it means is you are mindful, and intentional with your actions. It means you want you actions to be direct, confident, and even assertive.

I want my readers who are are single and dating to understand intention. It’s a word that I use to convey my purpose, direction, and feel like I am working toward something.

The same thing should go for you in your dating life. In the case of your dating life you are working toward getting better, more confident, and more decisive with the actions that will have you making progress in it. 

What is your intention in Dating?

Intention in dating simply means to me the actions you carefully put toward in your dating life. Whether it is going for the kiss at the end of a first date, telling a girl you think she is cute, or asking her out for your first, second, or third date. 

How Intention Relates to Dating?

Intention is simply going for what you want and being mindful about the actions you are taking toward it.

If you want to really enjoy your dating life you are going to need mindful actions with it, not just drinking until you get a buzz, and don’t feel the affects of rejection (sound familiar guys)? I know it did for me.  

Let’s be honest, if you are single and dating, a night out with your guys is meant to be fun. But let’s be brutally honest, you also want to go out and meet some girls. 

So if you are simply just going out, drinking, and not talking to that cute girl, or several girls are you really being intentional in you’re dating life. To me the answer is no?

How can we be intentional in dating profiles and apps?

Let’s look at dating profiles: If you are swiping on dating profiles more than you want to, are you really being intentional in your dating life?

Probably not, the dating profile and phone machine is being intentional with you, it’s using your time. 

Here’s a time I was not just being intentional in my dating life, I wasn’t being myself and it really hurt. I remember shortly after I purchased a complete quick fix dating profile overhaul. completely changed my dating profile with a quick fix approach. All of a sudden I was going out with girls I had never dreamed of. 

And while this quick fix approached definitely did the job of a quick fix, it did not help me grow into the man I am today, both in the dating world and in my relationship.

Truth be told I’m not bitter at all about it, I got a ton of laughs, pictures to share with you all, and also it gave me a purpose to start this business because I realize I had something to offer besides a dating profile to single men who are dating, I have myself, after all I am a therapist.

Why didn’t that profile help, I was missing intention?

But guess what, I wasn’t intentional, I went out on dates, had some initial success, but still going on a second date was still a disaster. Do you know why? I wasn’t intentional. I made vague plans, and got ghosted really quick. 

Soon those girls knew exactly who I was, not only was just acting incongruent with myself, I was not confident, direct, decisive and intentional. I don’t blame them for ghosting me, rejecting me, or just saying, “Next” (which by the way was a great TV Show, IYKYK

Now let me give credit where credit is due. Do you know who helped me not create intention in my dating plan, Corey Wayne. His work had a big impact on my life, you can read more about his work here. 

When I finally got intentional in my dating, I was ghosted less, went on way more fun dates, and then I used that experience and skills to date my true ten. I’m sure she’ll go ahead and tell you, I was very intentional, right babe?

What does intention have to do with therapy?

Intention is something we discuss, get specific about, and focus on. We develop a plan for what exactly intention looks like for you, how you are going to benefit from it in your dating life, you’re personal life, and in all areas of your life (whether it is personal finance, getting in great shape, or work).

Whether that intention is, “You’re cute, what’s your name,” or, a phone call that has you saying, “I want to see you again, when are you free,?”” or turning that cheek for a good night kiss. 

Intention is something we focus on in therapy to make sure your actions are not just intentional, they are becoming a natural part of who you are.

It’s also important to be intentional about your pain.

Intention has to do with being specific about what is bothering you? What your pain points are, and then how you can have intentional action that you know will help you work through that pain.

For example if you feel the pain of being unsure if that girl wants to go out with you again, we will work on being intentional about not just calling that girl, but all of the others that come and go in your life as well.

My job is to help you let it out (talk about the pain), and then help you figure it out (the action, the intention). 

The bottom line is the more intentional you are in dating, the more progress you will feel you are making in your dating life, and let’s be honest isn’t that what you want. 

Don’t want to enjoy going out with your friends, and not thinking about that girl who may have been interested, or may have shown you a sign of interest.

Don’t you want to know if that girl you have been thinking about for a few days is in or out. 

Don't you want to know if that girl you are on a date you are having a great time with you likes you enough to kiss you back or not? I know I did. 

Let’s be honest guys

You are the one reading this blog, not the girls that are you are dating, or potentially in your dating life, that means I want you to be better, and be your best. 

I know what it’s like to feel the pain of endlessly swiping profiles, buying boosts, and waiting for some hot girl on Hinge to answer. 

I also know what it’s like to feel that frustration, thinking that these dates never go anywhere, or they wind up cancelling, or you just want more out of your dating life. I get it, I get it, and oh yeah I get it. 

That is why my DatingandRelationship.Services Profile is Free. 

It’s free because I know what that pain is like to feel frustrated in your dating life. I also really feel strongly about a dating app and profile should be one tool to navigate, and one ingredient of your dating life, not the entire meal. 

Guys I am not here to say dating apps are bad at all, come on I met my girlfriend on a dating app. I am here to say you need to use it, regulate it, and have fun with it.

That’s why I am adamant and want you to come up with your own version for the exact six pictures I used, but in a way that is you, and the prompts. It’s free because I want you to use dating apps as a way to grow in your dating life, and go on more fun dates.

I want you to use dating apps to have more times where you can go for the kiss, even if you aren’t sure if she likes you. I want you to use dating apps to confidently set dates, and show up on them and have fun.

It is one tool of your growth. Just like you wouldn’t only go on the treadmill or only do the weights, or just neglect your diet, they are all apart of your health, well being and looking great.

Think of dating apps as the barbell, the dumbbell, or even the treadmill, don’t think of it as the entire fitness program.

Does this profile work?

Is it the best out there, who knows? Does it work, yes!! Why because I used these pictures myself, to go on a lot of fun dates, with a lot of great women. 

And best of all it is the profile I used to match, date, and eventually be with my true ten. 

So go ahead and download it below, you can click here. 

If you’d like.

If you’d like to work with me I am affiliated with Aurora Counseling Services. 

You can simply visit their website, and ask for Joe, I am there Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. To visit, click here. 

On Wednesdays at 7pm I host a free Men’s Therapy Group, where we talk about blog posts like this, and am strictly there as a support and guide for you. 

The group is held Every Wednesday at Aurora Counseling Services at 225 Victory BLVD, SI, NY 10301. Simply reach out to me if you have any questions. You are all more than welcome to come and receive any support I can offer. It is absolutely free.  

If you’d like to learn more about my work as a therapist in the world of dating and relationships, you can visit my homepage.

I am available for booking and appointments virtually, you can click here to contact me directly to book a free consultation. Click Here. 

If you are single and dating and like to download my dating profile checklist you can click here. 

It is simply the six pictures I used to not just increase my dating life, but to match and date with my true ten.  Click Here to download.

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