How urges ruin dating, relationships (and how to overcome them)?

What is an urge?

What is an urge? An urge is simply a physical feeling, a symptom, that enters your body, to do an undesirable behavior. As a therapist we all have urges, such as eating Carvel on Monday night (bad Joe-Joe), but more importantly, how do we deal with them?

You see as a therapist, I want to work with you to come up with the life you want to have worth living, waking up for and being excited. We get to come up with a plan, simple actions to do that, whether it’s a dating profile, helping you in your relationship, or marriage, or any challenge life is throwing your way. 

An urge is a force, a feeling that takes away from living that life, and following that plan. Sure, I can give you some therapeutic tools, like opposite action, deep breathing, mindfulness, and emotional waves, but I have to keep it real, you just have to acknowledge it and go through it. 

Overcoming Urges help you grow, that’s the most important

As a therapist, I love self-help and personal growth, because it truly transformed my life and gave me my biggest wins. That’s why when I write about something like urges that many people face, I’d rather tell you like it is, at least for me, which is knowing it, understanding it, and then the experience of going through it, is really how you achieve personal growth, and that’s really what I want for you. 

Urges in dating

You see urges show up everywhere in our lives, whether we are dating, in a relationship, married or any challenge. If you’re single and dating, out with your friends, and see that cute girl, chances are if you are reading this you WANT to say hi to that cute girl. Chances are you just want to take the action to say hi, and see what happens. 

But what happens, an urge happens, it shuts us down, creates physical pain, and probably takes us to the bar, or just avoids it completely. As a therapist, I’m about working past those urges and growing through them. 

Urges in relationships

If you’re in a relationship, you are going to have urges, urges to call or text your girl when she is out with her friends, or because you miss her, or because you just have donuts, and feel a certain way in a moment. That urge is strong, it is saying to call or text based on need, and not out of love. 

My friends, here is the good news, I had to overcome both of these, and if I can do it, you can too, which is why I write about them, and have started this business based on them, to pay my experience forward. 

Look there are therapy tools that can absolutely be practiced like opposite action, and the WAVE skill, but I want you to achieve personal growth, so if you are going to use a therapy tool to overcome an urge, make it a habit to literally practice the tool, and the skill, the same way Lebron James would practice free throws. 

For Further Reading and following

Guys, if you are single and dating and want to work with me to overcome your urges, create an awesome dating profile, you can click here to download my Dating Profile Checklist. This checklist explains in detail how to take each picture in a way that is truly you for your online dating profile, with great results. Click Here

If you’d like to read more about that service, I offer that is catered toward men who are single and dating click here.

If you would like to work with me one on one, you can contact me here.