Single and Dating: Hold Your Feet to the Fire?
Ok, Joey, What the hell are you talking about? Let’s be honest, when you are single and in the dating world, we all usually have some sort of weekend plans to go out with your friends, and go, “Hunting (if you will).”
So when I say hold your feet to the fire, I mean to really know why you are going out with your friends. Is it because you want to see your favorite cover band, catch up because you haven’t seen a few of them in a super long time, or is it because, that’s what you guys do when you are out hoping to meet a few girls, get some numbers etc.
This means being accountable to yourself, your emotions, and your goals.
Let me say this as men, whether its in your fitness goals, personal finance, your career, or in your dating and relationship life, we should always hold our feet to the fire, especially when we are trying to reach a goal, build a habit and work through a problem challenge. It just so happens, if you are single and dating, the biggest fire can sometimes be, the one we have to navigate in the dating world.
When I think about holding your feet to the fire, I think about the reason why we have to. Is it because we hate that feeling of going out, and not saying hello to at least one girl. Is it because we spent more money than we should have or got more drunk than we wanted to? Guys, this is called boundaries, and these are things that we have to think about it, otherwise we are just doing things without a plan, and then doing things to hurt ourselves in the long run.
If you are single and dating here are three tools now I can immediately give you to make your dating life better
Read Corey’s book (and yes read it ten to fifteen times). This book gave me the confidence, to go out and navigate the dating world, with all of the information needed. Was I perfect? Hell no, but did I feel like I had the perfect guide.
Second, if you are single and dating, here is the absolute how to on how to make your dating profile, the best and most congruent for you. I simply took the pictures I used when I was really coming into my own in dating, having success and broke them down step by step so you can take that same information and apply it to you. You can click here.
Last and not least, “You’re cute what’s your name.”
a. Choice One: Literally say it over and over again until it feels right for you, and you will come into your own saying it or
b. Choice two: Make it your own.
Ask yourself, If I was giving a really cute girl a compliment, what would I say? My answer You’re cute. What’s your answer?
And if I was being my most direct and confident self what would I say? My answer: What’s your name. What’s your answer?
You see holding your feet to the fire, means not just knowing that emotional pain, those recurring thoughts, and that crappy physical feeling, it also means having a plan. The thing I love about that last option, is it is a definite plan, to take action immediately in a moment. You can have a plan to work through the fire, and to be honest, we all should have plans, then walk through that fire step by step.
A date is a DEFINITE, day, time, and place.
Yes, that is something I totally learned from Corey, I’ll include a link to a video where he explains that, but let’s think about ourselves for one minute. Don’t we usually do that with the things that are important to us, like going to the gym. Don’t we go everyday, or five to six days a week, get there by a certain time, and leave by a certain time.
When we make plans with our girlfriend, or wives, don’t we tell them the day we are going to see them, the time we’ll pick them up or to be ready (we know the place because we planned i).
So I encourage you, don’t make this any different: If you really want to hold your feet to the fire, decide the exact day, time, and place, you want to hold your feet to the fire, and take that action.
For example: I’m going to the Inn at Long Beach tonight 10pm,
Plan: You’re Cute What’s Your name:
Guess what?
if is the worst thing ever you can leave, if you’ve been utterly humiliated you can leave, but chances are you won’t be, it’s just an emotional fire playing in your head.
If you want a great place to take a steak picture, I used Chadwichk’s in Rockville Center, you can click here to read that exact artitcle, which makes for a great dating profile picture. The only thing left for you to do is decide the day, and the time now (see what I did there I made you a plan hehe).
You can click here to read that exact article
What other boundaries do you want to put in place for yourself?
If we are keeping it real, we all have those nights where we spent more money than we wanted to, and definitely drank a little more than we wanted to, and it definitely had it’s consequences the next day, such as being late for your workout, late for work, hungover, or just not feeling yourself.
Use that same, day, time, and place, to put those healthy boundaries for yourself.
I’m going to the Inn at 10pm tonight, leaving by 12, have 50 buck in cash on me and that’s it, then I’m going home.
Let’s be honest
If I’m wrong you can disagree but if you went out tonight, said You’re cute, what’s your name to three or four girls, went out for a couple of hours, spent a few bucks, and went home after, would you not feel fifilled? I know I would!
Look guys, I bet you we hold our feet to the fire, more than we realize
Whether it is going to the gym, eating healthy, being responsible and choosing where we spend money, being more attentive and better at work and with a skill (like this blog), we do it already, so all I’m urging you to do is just hold keep holding those feet to the fire.
So hold those feet, and work toward simply putting that fire out. Let’s keep it real, you went out three or four nights a week (yes that’s a lot) or every time you did, said You’re cute what’s your name to a few girls over the weekend, and did that slowly over a month, two, or three, you’d feel well on your way to putting that emotional fire out.
So guys, thanks for reading
If you’d to contact me for therapy and coaching you can click here to email me.
If you are single and dating, I’ve completely given away the exact pictures I took to match with my true ten. You can click here to get access to those pictures. Click Here for access
