How to make your wife or girl feel really special, and it does not cost a thing?

First, Why Were Here, and My Intent.

Before I get into the details of this article, I want to take a moment to thank you — the reader. Whether you found me through a search, stumbled across this post, or keep coming back to see what’s new — I appreciate you.

Going forward, I’m going to do my absolute best to put pen to paper (well, fingers to keyboard) every day. That doesn’t mean I’ll publish something daily, but it does mean I’ll be working on new posts each day, with the goal of releasing one solid piece every week.

This blog — this website, this service, this business — is really about helping men. Men who are navigating the emotions, actions, and frustrations of being single and dating, and also men who are working through the ups and downs of relationships and marriage.

I’m also not afraid to write from my own lived experience — whether it’s current, recent, or in the past — because that’s what makes us relatable. We all share similar struggles, goals, and hopes for happiness. Writing about it helps me grow, and hopefully helps you do the same.

It’s my job to put it out there and see what comes in return.

Now, let’s get to it: Look at her like she’s your pride and joy

If you’re in a relationship or married, I want you to look at your wife or girlfriend like she’s the only person in the room. Look her straight in the eyes and just smile.

But do it in a way that feels real — not like you’re copying something you read in a blog post. Feel it. Be present in that moment with her. Look at her like she’s the greatest thing since sliced bread.

Why? Because that simple act means a lot. I make it a point to do it several times a day with my girl — whether we’re cooking together or just lying on the couch watching Netflix. (Notice I didn’t say during football, because let’s be real, that’s not happening.)

When you look at your woman like she’s the only one in the world, you’re giving her something special — a gift, really. That gift is your presence.

And I don’t mean just being physically there or nodding along as she talks — although that’s important. I mean being fully present, giving her that look that says, “You’re awesome, and I could smile at you like this for minutes.”

Change is not just hard for you, it takes time her to accept and feel it.

Now, if you’re struggling in your relationship or marriage, I get that this might feel hard. Change always is. Especially when life gets busy and routines get stale. But come on, man — you have a woman, a wife, a girlfriend, maybe even kids.

Give her that gift of presence. That look that says, I’m all yours, and you’re the greatest thing ever. It costs nothing, but in that moment it makes her feel amazing — and in turn, it’ll make you feel amazing too.

Do it because you want to see her glow. Do it because you want a better home, a better life.

If you really want to be in a great marriage or relationship, do this. Look at her like she’s a gem — because she is.

Don’t you want to feel like she is the best thing in the world?

I always laugh a bit when guys hang out and complain about their wives or girlfriends. I don’t mean venting after an argument — that’s normal. I mean when it’s constant negativity.

Yeah, I’m lucky — maybe even spoiled — but that’s how I choose to feel about my girl. When her name comes up around friends or family, I say, “She’s awesome. She’s a gem.”

Ask yourself this: how would you feel if next time your buddies started complaining, you just said, “Nah, she’s a gem. I love her.”

You’d feel great — because your words would match how you actually feel.

That little “trick” — to look at your wife like she’s the only person in the room, to smile, to kiss her — that’s what I want you to do as her man.

Change is very hard, so ask yourself, what brought you here?

As a therapist, I love when men come to me wanting to fix and improve their marriage or relationship. Change is tough. It’s hard to sit in it, think about it, and then do it — consistently. But if you’re reading this, it’s probably because you want something different.

Or maybe you just know me and thought, Let’s see what Joey’s up to with this nonsense.

Either way, here’s the truth: take your actions seriously. Take your intent seriously. Take your success seriously. But once you put something out there, don’t take the feedback too seriously — it’s just feedback.

Even if your wife looks at you and says, “What are you doing?” — that’s feedback. She’s not used to you being that present, that intentional.

Take your intent seriously, but the response less seriously.

Take seriously the desire to be a better husband, boyfriend, and man. Take seriously the work it takes to make your relationship a positive, fulfilling part of your life — not a negative you just deal with it, or just a part of your life.

If you’re single and dating, take seriously your intent to connect — say hello, ask for her name. If you’re in a relationship or marriage, take seriously the work it takes to improve it.

But — and this is important — take her responses less seriously. Not because you don’t care, but because real change takes time.

If your relationship is a five, six, or seven out of ten, it’s going to take time to get to a nine or ten. Don’t get discouraged by her initial reactions. As you change, it’ll take time for her to see and feel that change consistently.

The good news? She’s still with you. Every day she chooses you. So why not choose to do better?

Look at her like she’s the most amazing person in the world — because if she’s your wife or girlfriend, that’s exactly who she should be to you.

As a therapist, I primarily work with two types of men: those who are single and dating, and those who are in relationships or married. Together, we figure out what challenges you’re facing and how to overcome them. The cool thing? The actions are usually simple — it’s the emotions and variables that make things complicated.

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And if you’d like to go deeper, I’m available for individual therapy sessions. You can learn more about that here.