Picture Number Six: Your Hobby Picture
So We’re Almost There.
We went to a rooftop, we hung out somewhere fun with our friends, went on a fun vacation or getaway, ate steak at a nice restaurant, and even started a boxing career.
Now it’s time to do something we love, whatever it is that you want, but also something that is truly you, and at the same time fun, and interesting. Personally, I love cooking for my friends. Cooking became a huge hobby of mine during COVID when there was no sports on TV. So one night, I decided to venture out for a cooking class.
So, how did this all come about?
How did I wind up at The Cook’s Studio in Patchogue, Long Island, almost 50 miles from my home?
Me becoming a Five Star Michelin Chef.
Well I’m glad you asked, (actually you didn’t but I’m telling you anyway lol). It started with some pain, some frustration in my dating life, and realizing I had to start to be responsible for my own happiness, and not rely on someone else.
You see when I took this picture, I was hurt, and frustrated, both with myself and at the lack of a third date with a girl I really liked at the time. I thought my quick fix approach with money, photo editing, and one-liners would solve everything, but it didn’t.
First, the mistake I did make, and how I even got here.
I own the mistake and decision I made to pay for that quick fix profile. I’m also forever thankful for it. The information I got was very good, but good information without knowing how it applies to you doesn’t help.
Did I get a whole lot of matches, options and dates? I did. But it was just a band-aid. What I really needed was to be comfortable in my own skin, keep it real with myself, and figure out exactly what I wanted to do with the information, and how it was all going to fit within my life.
The truth is, I paid a lot of money for a quick fix profile. The information I got included using burner phones, insane edits, and stupid lines with rigid scripts. The quick fix profile gave me plenty of options and matches, but all the options and matches in the world were never going to fix my neediness, behavior, mindset, or make me comfortable in my own skin.
That’s the cool thing about this blog and business. It’s not just about dating apps, matches, and a profile. It’s about helping men become the people they truly want to be whether they are single, married, or in a relationship.
The purpose of this information is to help you make it your own and at the same time, own your shit, know your desired outcome, and work on yourself continuously to get what you really want. That’s ultimately how we truly grow and get the results we want.
You see guys, the purpose of this business and service is to share my story, not because I’m any better than you, but because I’ve lived what I believe is a very shared experience, and came out feeling happy, whole and complete, the garnish on top is the girl who I get to share this with.
I lived being in a relationship that was long term, loving, but just not for me. I lived being single and frustrated, and now I get the gift of being in a relationship I never would have dreamed of.
I don’t want people to suffer like I did, pay for quick fixes, dating coaches, online dating gurus, and pick-up artists (although to be fair, I did love Pick-up Artist on VH1).
I don’t want people to read countless books, watch countless YouTube videos, and Reddit forums to try to fix their dating lives, get an ex back, or feel frustrated about a girl they like, or dated and isn’t giving them the same interest and reciprocity back.
And I certainly don’t want men to feel jealous, insecure, needy, less than, and frustrated in their relationship (been there and done that). And if you are married, I certainly don’t want you thinking about and feeling your wife is a bitch, complaining to your friends, but then not doing anything to make that marriage better.
My intent with these blogs, articles, and coaching is just to put it out there, and to see what comes back. If you want to keep reading, learning and growing with me, awesome. If not, I get it, no worries.
Now back to this picture.
I was lonely, frustrated, and even angry- totally not me. So I decided to go on a date with myself. What I got was more than a hobby picture, I got an experience that made me realize I can treat myself right, be kind, present, and the same good feeling from being in the company of a girl will follow.
After spending a year and change, planning countless dates for people on dating apps, I planned one for myself, a drink, a snack, a cooking class, and my favorite, a good cover band.
The exact date:
I took myself out for a drink to Birdie’s in Patchogue, and watched the U.S. Open. Then, I made some Gnocchi at The Cook’s Studio and capped my night off at Dublin Deck watching my favorite cover band Mean Machine.
Okay, so, what’s your point?
Did I pick up some cute girl, get her number, and take her out somewhere? Nope. Did I talk to some patrons, and shoot some shots? I’m sure I did. Did I get rejected? Definitely.
However, I do remember coming home with a huge smile on my face, and a really similar feeling I had with those two dates with that aforementioned third date dream girl, I did!
When you take this picture I want you to have that same mindset! Go out there and do the thing you love for you!!
My favorite part of the night was just hanging out and talking with the poor sous chef who had to take this picture. She was so cool, she took all the pictures I wanted. And guess what, I had no shame in my game saying this is for “The Gram.” And for tinder.
Remember guys own it, own it, own it. Why did I want her to take that picture? Clearly for some personal gain of a dating profile, or likes on social media. So why be weird about it? Why not smile and keep it real?
Guess what, when I went back a few months later she totally remembered me, took some pictures and had a good laugh with me. This is what happens when you participate in the world, you laugh, you joke, you meet new people, and you put yourself and your intention out there, and see what just comes out of it.
For your hobby picture, get out there and participate. It's a picture; a moment and a night to make a conscious choice to be happy doing something you love, and absolutely own what you put out there.
You’re on this page for a reason, keep it real with yourself.
What brought you here, what are your goals? What are you really striving for? Because to be honest, I doubt it’s a hobby picture. It’s really information you probably want that you are hoping you can take, apply and lead it to a positive outcome in the area of your life you are struggling with.
Emotionally many, many of us ride a roller coaster in our lives in dating, and relationships,My job is here to help you navigate that rollercoaster, especially when it comes to specific actions, whether you are single and dating, in a relationship, or married. I’m here to help you get that relationship you always wanted, all while being totally peaceful, content and happy with yourself.
Now that we know exactly what this picture is about, it’s time to get to the details, you know the things that make for a good picture on that dating profile. The parts of the picture that make this picture awesome, cool, and a real add to your profile.
The Details:
Clothes Matter! Yes they do, Yes they do, and yes they do. White shirt, black jeans please. Look I know you might have a style or colors you prefer, I just believe the white and black looks better on a profile.
For example, let’s look at the evidence, you’ll see the small difference in score (6.2 on photofeeler in the white shirt black jeans, versus the second picture below a score of 5.8 with the blue shirt and black jeans. Guys go with the black, and white (you know, like the NWO). Below is both pictures results from photofeeler.com
6.2 is definitely not bad at all for an action shot! use it!!
5.8 is definitely not bad, remember with the hobby and action pictures you really want it over a five before you make an edit.
The Action Shot:
Try to get it as authentic and caught in the moment as possible. That means no posing, or trying to get the right angle. Simply take as many pictures as possible in the moment of you doing it. Then, pick your best one, two, or three to test on photofeeler.
For example, when I took my picture, I just told that poor Sous Chef to take a few pictures for “The Gram.” I stood there cleaning my cutting board full of Gnocchi and she just kept snapping the pictures, that’s what you are going for, take the pictures, and pick two or three of the best ones!
The Angle:
Once again you want your head as close as you can to the top of the frame, the less space in the frame will be better. In general the more you take up the frame, the better, especially with at the top of the frame.
If I were to do this better, I’d definitely improve the right side of the picture and have it cropped in more to the left. As you can see, the right side is messy, has papers, and also just a lot of empty space. By cropping it in more, you are also adding yourself as the center of the picture.
Using a FIVERR Editor:
Just like our boxing picture, since we are going for that action shot look, using an edit, (FIVERR recommended) will only help the score for this simple reason: You are simply enhancing a little bit the facial qualities that are seen. This is important since the photo is going to be lower in score naturally, as it is an action shot.
An action shot is always going to be lower in score, because your full face cannot be seen, therefore the default is always going to be a lower score. By using the fiver editor in an action shot you are negating that. More importantly, the goal of this picture is to still get the action shot of the hobby down, the edit is just something we use to stack the deck in our favor.
Just a disclaimer, I totally did not use one on my hobby picture, but if you want to, go for it.
So ask yourself. What do you love to do?
Do you love golfing? Do you love art? Do you love comics? Get a picture of you at golfing, putting. Get a picture of you taking an art class, or at an art museum. Get a picture of you at comic con, if you like conventions or festivals.
I included pictures below of magazine style action shots. Once again, definitely copy the magazine style pictures of the hobby you choose to take the picture of.
What makes this is a good picture? Notice his clothes, action shot, face visible, and awesome background! copy this golfers!
Do you love cooking? Get a picture of you cooking at a cooking class, or making pasta, or pizza, etc.
While this is not a perfect background, it is a great action shot (look how in the moment he is). Also, the abundance of food and plates adds to the picture, not just empty counter space.
Do you love wineries? Go to a winery, or a cocktail making class. Just do what you love! Please, for the love, just no video-games.
Do you love playing softball, baseball, flag football? Get a picture of you in the middle of the game (just be sure you are wearing the uniform/jersey of your team), that definitely makes for a much better picture. Otherwise, just wearing a t-shirt and shorts to play softball in a league makes the picture significantly less appealing.
Notice what is really good here. Everyone here is in uniform! Copy this if you do play softball or even baseball still.
