What is Personal Growth to you?
To answer this question I am going to keep it real for a quick minute with my own answer. Then we will see how it relates back to you.
For me it starts with making the changes you know you want to make.
To use one of my fundamental examples and actions, it’s knowing exactly where you want to be six months from no, and doing exactly what you have to do today to get there.
Whether you want to get in great shape, save for that fun vacation, blog frequently, or go away for a weekend getaway or two, it’s doing exactly what you need today to get there.
It’s these little things you know you have to do repeatedly, day in and day out, just like doing your homework.
It’s also awareness. It’s knowing the things you want to do differently.
Whether it is going to the gym several days a week, going for a walk, drinking less, gambling less, getting angry less, being nicer, and happier to your wife, or just knowing when to turn off work and enjoy life. Personal growth is knowing the changes you want to make.
Why is simply just knowing the changes personal growth? Because you can’t take that first step without feeling the pain of knowing what YOU want to be different. You are getting ready to make a change, and trying. You are thinking about it.
Is awareness enough? No just being aware of the change is not enough, but sure is a hell of a start!
Here’s how that awareness played out a little bit for me as I write this blog. Last night, “We let the liquor talk (Nope never mind that’s Morgan Wallen).” Anyways, I had a couple of drinks (literally two). Today is Saturday, Valentines day. My awareness is knowing I am going to want to have one at dinner, and that is it, The rest I will just have to settle for a seltzer with lime, or mocktails. That’s awareness.
Personal Growth is not just having a goal, it’s what you do to get there.
Whether you are thinking about that goal, starting to do those little things for the first day or two, or whether you have been doing them for a week or two, or even more. Personal growth is what it takes (emotionally, mentally), for you to do those things. It’s about what you do to get there. It’s about the action you commit to.
You commit to that action day in, and day out, because you know six months from now, things are going to be quite different and much better, so do it, commit to it!
Personally, I want to be 175 pounds, but that is simply a goal, a number. My real growth is in what I have to do get there, and doing it day in and day out. It’s managing the urges to have a drink or two when I’m out, or having that coffee black, or eating only ground turkey and oatmeal.
Ironically when I was 330 pounds, and lost all that weight, i never felt like I grew, I just did it. But now that it’s all gone, getting into what I deem the best shape of my life is the goal, what I have to do get there is the growth.
But that’s enough about me, what about you?
What is personal growth for you?
If you are married, is it being able to come home and just say, “Hey baby, how was your day?”
**Hint: Then it’s time to shut up and listen (yes it sounds harsh, but it’s true) True growth is just taking the time to give your wife all of the time and attention she wants from her husband, which is you!
If you are in a relationship is it being able to say to your girl, “Have fun babe,” when she is out with her friends for the night, and not be checking your phone, hoping and waiting for her text (full disclaimer, I’ve been there and done that).
Is it being single seeing that cute girl and saying, “You’re cute, what’s your name?” and most importantly, being ok with the outcome.
It’s being able to sit there with the pain, frustration and anger and knowing, ok I want to do something different
Growth is being able to feel the pain of a mediocre or even less than marriage. It’s being able to say I love my wife, and want to do better.
It’s being able to say, I’m tired of feeling uncertain, needy, and maybe even jealous when my girl is out or on vacation. I want to get lost in my own friends, hobbies and experiences.
Growth is feeling that pain of wanting to call that girl you went on a date with even if you aren’t sure of her interest in a second or third date. Growth is saying screw it, whatever happens, happens.
Growth is knowing I’m tired of that crappy feeling when I go out and don’t speak to any girls, or just waiting for that perfect moment.
Growth is also recognizing feelings and urges that may come up and stop you.
Even when you have started to make those changes, those feelings, those urges; to drink a little more, check your phone more, be angry, or turtle up and not say hello, they will rise. You will have urges to shift away from the thing you know you have to do to move yourself forward.
These urges are natural. You’re motivation will be different some days, you, you might, “Be in a bad mood,” or, “Just don’t feel like it.” Come on guys we are all human not robots. Everyday is not going to be the perfect day of action and motivation.
While making these changes and doing the little things does make those emotions that you have to fight through simmer down, they still will rise. It’s ok, just recognize it. Not every day is perfect. Recognize the urges that will flare up.
There might even be a reason those urges to be angry, at your wife, or not say hello that girl. Maybe it’s because you had a bad day at work, or that girl you see is someone that you think is really hot.
The point is, just because you have been working on that change, and making it, it doesn’t mean that the change is always going to be easy to make. Some days it’s just going to be a little harder than the day before, that’s normal.
Progress isn’t always linear, but it always there to be had. Why? Because action is always there to be taken. You know exactly what to do, even when it feels a little harder to do it, so go do it, and make that growth and change.
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