Why Staying Consistent and Building Small Habits, is more than Cliche

Let’s be honest guys, doing small things, small actions, and staying consistent are things that I have not just written about before, but are also no stranger to those that are in the self-help. therapy, and personal growth community.

In a previous blog post I spoke about the experience you can gain by doing something simple but hard for thirty days, especially with respect to the emotional waves you will feel but be able to navigate.

Now when I wrote that blog post, I had two things in mind in my health and business. First, I was doing “Dry January,” (a trend I learned people do, to de-tox their body after the holiday season fun sauce).

In that blog post I discussed the waves of emotion I felt at certain times about not drinking and then how those waves simmered out and related it to how we all feel certain waves of emotion when doing something simple but hard.

I also spoke out publishing a blog post for thirty straight days. Now while that was quite the feat, there is something I want to be more mindful of in my own growth going forward, which gave me the inspiration for this blog post.

That blog post with respect to the blog posts was more focused on the output, what went out to the website. and land of the internet.

As a therapist, when I speak about staying consistent, and building small habits, I want you to focus on doing the thingsi you can actively do, to move your life forward, in a way that is goal directed, but inner game focused.

Let me explain

Staying consistent and building small habits is more about you and the focus and attention to detail you put into yourself and your process.

For example, if you want to build your health, your wealth, a business, a career, and your dating and relationship life you have to focus on the action you have to take day in and day out.

In my work with clients, I am constantly pushing and encouraging them to come up with these small habits.

We do this by letting out all their pain, frustration, and suffering, and then we figure out, what is next. How to navigate and their pain by working past it with those small simple actions.

Why? Because as a therapist, therapy is more about feelings

It’s my job to not just help you enjoy your life but help you enjoy your path. We enjoy our path by knowing we are making progress on all of our goals and dreams, each and every day, day in and day out.

Guys, the point of therapy is to come in, work through your shit, build those habits, and get out and enjoy your life, not bitch about it on my couch, or a virtual platform for months and even years.

I work with you to figure out those habits and grow them when you are ready. More importantly we are using those habits work through the challenge you have and goal you want to achieve.

Because if you can work through one challenge, then you can work through another challenge. After all guys, isn’t a part of life working through a series of challenges.

Here’s an example from my personal life. When I was dating, I had to work through the challenge of navigating the interest of the girls I liked, especially after the first date.

I had to navigate the challenge of regulating my emotions with decisive action to ask them out on second and third dates.

As my dating life started to get better, I went out on one faithful late May night. She’s who I refer to in these blog posts as my true ten.

Once things took off and got past that second and third date I had to work through the challenge of navigating my emotions of dating a girl I really liked

Then when it became the second or third month of dating, I had another challenge to overcome, keeping my cool and navigating the emotions with this girl I was really liking and starting to love.

Then I had to work out the final kinks of navigating my emotions of being in a relationship her. What I just described to you was a little bit of how I navigated my dating life and then my relationship life, and if I can do it, you can do it too.

But that’s enough about me? What about you?

What are those challenges you have to work through? What are those small, simple consistent habits, you have to build to work through them?

Is it getting in better shape, is it managing money better, is it building a business, is it enjoying your dating life, your relationship, or your marriage. Here’s the good news, I work with you to build those habits, so you can work through those challenges, and enjoy your life.

Here’s just a couple of the ways we work together

If you’re single and dating: We work together with…

1. “Hey, how are ya,” “Hey how’s your day,” “You are really cute, what’s your name.” What are these? They are small consistent habits you are actively doing to build your confidence in dating, in just talking to girls.

2. The Next date phone call

   a. Hey I had a great time the other night, Let’s grab a drink this week, when are you free.”

3. The Kiss Test: Always go for that kiss, these are the successful habits, you control that build your dating life.

In a relationship: Here’s how we navigate your emotions.

You love your girl, but you want that feeling of love that you have for her. Here’s one way how, you have to wait for her to reach out and be comfortable with the silence.

I know it’s hard but trust me it is worth the wait. It really improves the health of your relationship. Make those plans and get off the phone. What’s the small simple action, waiting, waiting and waiting. That’s just one of them.

The other small actions we work together with are using the phone to make plans, not using it as a tool for your own validation.

Notice how in both your dating life, and your relationship, the phone is a medium and a tool for making plans.

**I want to give credit where credit is due. Corey Wayne helped me a ton with this, his book Three Percent Man and his work helped me completely get over the hump in my dating and relationship life.

You should totally check out his work.

Married: Small Simple Actions to navigate a healthy and happy marriage

1. Hey babe, how was your day?

2. Listening attentively

3. And being truly present with her.

I want you to be consistent, but in such a way that says you are in tune, with yourself.

Being in tune with yourself means, you are being mindful about it. You know you want a great relationship, a great marriage. You know you want to go on that fun vacation, without worrying about money before and after.

You know you want that fun dating life, or that great body. By being consistent with small actions, you are building the habit, and the internal confidence to repeat them day in and day out as you walk that path (just like with what blogging has become for me).

Perhaps, even just as powerful, you are building them in a way that you know you are making progress, feeling good and able to enjoy your life. After all guys, life is meant to be enjoyed, not angry with girls you dated, or ghosted you.

Life is not meant to be angry, upset, or even hurt with your girlfriend or wife. The cool thing is there are small simple actions that we figure out and carry out, day in and day out.

This is how you make progress on all of your goals, your business, your health and your dating and relationship life (and yes that includes marriage).

If you want to work with me there are two ways.

1. I work with Aurora Counseling Services located at 225 Victory BLVD, Staten Island, NY 10301.

   You can simply call up, ask for a referral form, visit their website and ask for Joseph. You can visit their site here.

2. If you’d like to work with me privately you can do so by emailing me here. Please note I do not accept insurance, and payments are made with Zelle, and PayPal. You can reach out to me here.

If you enjoy reading blog posts like this.

You can subscribe to my email newsletter here. I post several blog posts like these a week about the world of self-help, personal growth, dating, and relationships.

If you are single and dating.

You can download Your True Ten Dating Profile Checklist Here. It is the complete guide to how I took the pictures, and prompts to match with and date my true ten. The guide includes detailed articles on each picture and how to take them for you.

You can download it by clicking here.